Posted by Miss Amy on April 21, 2001, at 23:24:16
In reply to Re: Can someone help me??, posted by MarieMurph on April 21, 2001, at 22:03:32
Hi there! I do not know if all therapists practice CBT--it seems like they should at least know about it--it seems like. If yours does not, and is against learning about it, find another therapist that does or will. Do you live in a largely populated area? I lived in a town of 3000 when I started therapy for my panic and found a good therapist right away. Part of it is a good therapist and part of it is your willingness to change. As far as my panic--it started when I was 14 (I am 28 now) and I did not go to CBT until I was 23 or so--they had always been somewhat managable up to that point, or so far and few between that I didn't worry to much about them. I'd just crawl into bed and call it good for a day or so. But then this one panic attack sent me reeling. I was in the parking lot of this grocery store and could not go inside--i forced myself too and was immediately afraid I was going to vomit--so I ran outside and waited for my boyfriend and his friend and then we went to their house where I promptly went to bed (at 8 P.M.) and shook and sweated and "freaked out" until 4 A.M or so. They started getting wosre after that because i was TERRIFIED of how it felt. I mean it was sooo debilitating I thought I was losing my mind. i am sure you can relate. My biggest fear was that i was going crazy--now that I have gone crazy, It's not so bad....just kidding. Anyway--of course panic cannot drive someone to madness, and is not a symptom of it, but that was the fear that drove the anxiety. Never feel alone with this thing. There are lots and lots of people who have PD, which is also something I took comfort in. As far as my recovery (I just can't help typing these enormous posts! Forgive me! : ) I was in therapy for the PD for about a year and a half. But the anxiety symptoms lessened after just one visit to my counselor. I had started reading a book about Panic (I think it is called the Panic Disorder Handbook) and was practicing some of the coping skills already before I went to see Joe (my therapist). So he and I talked about some of his knowledge of PD, and my knowledge of it and he actually borrowed the book from me and read it before our next appointment. I told him that i did not want to take meds; that I wanted to try figuring it out with my own skills first before I incorporated any meds. I was VERY against medications back then; my knowledge of them was very slim, and the people I knew who had taken them for PD had to rely on them and planned on being on them forever--any time I would try to talk about what i was learning in therapy they turned up their noses . But after just a few weeks I was the one making progress and they were still battling it switching medications and such trying to find the right one. Anyway, I have not had a full blown anxiety attack in years. I still get a little anticipatory anxiety before i fly somewhere or go on a long trip. Last year i went to Thailand for three months and was very nervous about it until I got on the plane. But once we took off I was fine. I did not have one panic attack the whole time I was there! Even in Bangkok! Holy Cow! I was so proud of myself when we got to the island of Ko Tao I burst into tears. So believe me, in time you will be able to function again. Your functioning right now probably! : ) I still have to use my positive self talk now and again when I get anxious (which is very very rare these days--maybe once a year or so but as far as full blown "I am going to be sick, why does everything look so funny--this isn't real, I would rather die than live the rest of my life feeling this way" never happens any more. Sometimes the panic would manifest itself into crazy headaches, or my whole arm would get numb or srazy stuff like that--but as soon as I found out the name for that reaction (which escapes me now) and what is happening, it did not scare me anymore. And the more I stayed in the moment, silenced my mind and really focused on what my body was doing instead of trying to hide from it I would start feeling better. I mean, how can we hide from our body? We are our bodies! It's impossible! the more we try to run from it, the worse the anxiety becomes! Oh it's crazy. But very very real! I am on meds now for depression--panic is actually a good indicator of depression. I did not go on meds because I was anxious, but because I did not have the energy to get out of bed and face live. Not because I was scared but because I was starting to not give a shit about anything. And that was really unlike me, so I bucked up, went to the doctor on campus and asked her to set me up with some serzone! I told her my life story (which must have taken hours, you are probably thinking...is this getting any shorter? Haha!) So in conjunction with the CBT, talk to your therapist about what is going on in your life and what control issues or stress issues you may have because they all play a big part of what is happening to you right now. And feel free to post them here too--there is a "social-babble" board where some of these posts (if we aren't dicussing meds) may be more appropriately posted. Make sense? My brother is giving me looks and wants me off the computer so we can walk the dog! Talk to you soon!
poster:Miss Amy
thread:60706
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010417/msgs/60732.html