Posted by Cece on May 17, 2001, at 2:15:05
In reply to Re: Pot Smoking , posted by alexa on May 16, 2001, at 10:42:59
Hi Alexa-
For many years, quite a number of years ago, before I was in treatment for my bipolar II, I was "addicted" to pot, and also to alcohol. I know that pot isn't addictive in the true medical sense of the word, but I was hooked- I would smoke every day, then say "shit, I don't really want to feel like this, I can't wait until it wears off", and then as soon as it wore off I would smoke more. At first I felt that it enhanced my creativity, but eventually it was hell. I also drank every night, alone- I see now that I was quelling my hypomania- getting drunk and incapacitated forced me to stop.
For several years I went to AA and stopped both drinking and smoking, which was a great relief. Once I got the overload of pot out of my system I found that my emotional lability calmed down, and that I felt physically stronger. After a few years of treatment for my BP, I found that I could drink alcohol in extreme moderation (I know that you weren't really asking about alcohol, but indulge me- it's part of my story)- Neurontin seemed to quell my desire to drink compulsively, plus I had broken the compulsive habit through 6 years of abstinence. My pdoc said that other patients had reported similar effects from Neurontin. I only smoked pot once in a blue moon when I was around it and in the mood. Mostly, I had lost interest.
A few months ago, I started dating a guy who smokes pot regularly, and I tried it again. What I've found is that I enjoy it in private, especially for sex, but don't enjoy going out in the world stoned- I don't communicate well, and get very self-conscious. I don't seem to notice any interaction with any of my meds, and I am on a lot of them. So, I'm now able to enjoy both alcohol and pot, in moderation, without any desire to get totally blitzed. But having been an abuser in the past, I do keep an eye on myself- the last thing I want is to sink into that hellhole again. My illness provides me with its own share of hellholes- even with good treatment.
I guess like with meds, we all react somewhat differently, and need to be our own observers. Clearly, pot helps some people with all sorts of problems, physical and psychological. And now, for me, it provides an entertaining change in reality. But I also know, that for some of us, it has the potential to be a trap, and I respect its power.
Has this been at all helpful? I hope so. You seem to be an intelligent and honest person, and I wish you all the best.
Cece
poster:Cece
thread:62500
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63317.html