Posted by Ron Hill on May 19, 2001, at 12:14:22
In reply to Psychological anhedonia?, posted by Anna Laura on May 16, 2001, at 3:35:00
Anna Laura,
The links I listed in my previous post did not take you to the specific pages as I had intended. Therefore, on both the Tips page and the Search page search for the word "apathy" then look for links regarding SSRI's and apathy.
-- Ron
-------------------------------------------------> Hi Everybody!
>
>
> First of all, i don't know if this post ought to be directed to psycho-social babble or not....This issue it's a kind of "hybrid" one, so that it's difficult to decide wether this is going to fit in this forum or in the other one.
> Second of all, please forgive me for my english: it's not my language : hope this mail makes sense.....O.K. then, this is my sixt week on Prozac....I felt better for a few days last week (felt more like myself, i had like "micro-awakenings", thought it was rather promising) and all of a sudden it all popped out.
> I've been thinking over about this and i was wondering if this poop out could be of psychological kind......I felt like i was getting out of the tunnel and it was a little scary.
> I know this is going to sound weird but it was like getting out of jail type-of-thing: i suddenly looked back to my past years and i felt very uncomfortable. "What happened to me?" was my more frequent question to myself. I was puzzled, amazed and very uncomfortable. I noticed with stupefaction that it was actually hard to FEEL happiness and being happy. It was difficult ot smile and be cheerful. It was hard to learn again all the emotion range.
> When i entered this tunnel more then ten years ago i was twenty-one, a quite smart and gifted person: i was hypersensitive though, overwhelmed by emotions and disfunctional because of this: i just wonder if this anhedonia it's kind of protecting me even if i counsciously absolutely want to get rid of it.
> If i look back in the past years i realize that this dumbness helped me to get more social and to "reach out for things"(getting a job interview, being more assertive with people cause i was finally telling what was in my mind without being afraid of consequences...). It even helped me with relantionships cause i was not anxious any longer : everything smoothed out because of this and i was finally able to carry on a lasting relationship....
> Do you know what i mean? I felt "tough" for the first time in my life. And this happened during the years that are supposed to be crucial for a mature and adult person development.....
> Do you think this makes any sense or it's just another subtle way to blame myself for things?
> Or is it just a rationalize type-of- thing, another way of trying to make sense when there is no sense, a desperate attempt of my own mind to grasp the unexplainable and irrational things, in order to fill the void, like us fragile human beings often do?
>
> Anna Laura
poster:Ron Hill
thread:63193
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63619.html