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Re: Benzodiazepine, Mood stabiliser, Stimulant

Posted by rabbit on July 5, 2001, at 4:16:51

In reply to Benzodiazepine, Mood stabiliser, Stimulant, posted by PaulB on July 1, 2001, at 20:12:39

>This combination of benzodiazepine, mood stabilizer, and Stimulant. I have history of misdiagnosis (as most Adult ADHD have) From gifted and obstinate, to manic depressive with schizophrenic tendency, to arrogant and rude, to underacheiver, or slacker. Personally a "funny, cute drunk, and bright too", was a favorite. I tried many psychomeds. Trazedone, Buspar, Paxil, Prozac(flinked out of college on that one), now after correct diag of ADHD/Chronic Anxiety, low self-esteem but the Brown scale is where I scored the highest, everything mathed up. I now 3 years, take 5mg. Dexidrine up to four times daily (my needs change so sometimes a late class skip am dose take one later two before class, Point: also studied all benzos. and had to beat a Lorazepam addiction cold turkey, I didn't know addictive quality then. Find Xanex 1mg. three times at fairly strict schedule of 6 hours apart keeps the level smooth without the daily half-life withdrawal then build up then withdrawal cycle, I do not take the Xanex at the same time as dexidrine, I like the Xanex to get going then use desi as needed. Ritalin to me was nasty like too much coffee, dextrostat caused headaches, Prozac left me sitting up in bed thinking all day about all the thing I wasn't getting done. Serzone caused violent mood swings headaches, Adderall just made me dizzy with a dry cough. I fought for four years to get this Zanex/Dexidrine combination, and five doctor/psychs. Still the counselor asked "Are you planning to always take these pills everyday for the rest of your life?" Well does a diabetic ever stop taking their medicine? Hey before diagnosis I was alcoholic, starting with the hangover drink in early am lunch sneaking and drinking steady till bed, passing out after counting to make sure 4-5 beers left for my morning buzz. 3 days in psych. hospital, with Adavane (Lorazepam) then Paxil, and Visteril, and Trazedone..doctors said you're no alcoholic, you crazy, but smart and funny, and strong. sure have to be strong to fake most people out that you struggle and fight yourself, your instincts every day to act 'normal'. Now I try to be me, with behavior mod. (like flights of thought eventually making my point to an empty room, I try to listen and not talk much. Grit teeth to stop impulse interruption, seems rude but I don't notice, big joke is my pen and notepad...hahaha I never remember names only obligations and favors I do so people will like me, or else I just stay in and chat to strangers....thanks for the patience (unless you quit reading this ten mins ago.


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