Posted by MB on July 7, 2001, at 13:55:21
OK, I am addicted to caffeine; I need it to function. I have tried all SSRIs, Effexor, Remeron and Wellbutrin. Remeron put me in a figurative coma, and the rest made me absolutely bouncing-off-the-walls-murderously-crazed (unless I stayed on them long enough, then *they* put me in a depressed stupor). Anyway, caffeine (to get me out of bed) and 45+ minutes aerobic exercise/day seems to ward off any suicidal ideation (though I still spend a lot of time dysphoric and obsessive). Here's the deal: the caffeine seems to be working, but, like the SSRIs, it causes weird things to happen. At normal doses (i.e. one cup) I get racing thoughts and facial/diaphragmatic tics. At higher doses, I get extreme anxiety, paranoia and blue flashes of light around the periphery of my vision. OK, so the obvious answer is to quit the caffeine, but I just can't. The depression and inability to function (the complete lack of desire to live or function) without it is unbearable. Also, isn't that type of reaction to such little caffeine indicative that something *else* is wrong with me? Many people I know drink as much as 5-6 cups a day without problem. I'm afraid to take this complaint to a pdoc because I think they will want to put me on neuroleptics. I've tried Zyprexia before, and I think I hated it more than anything I've ever taken (other than, maybe, Remeron or allergy medicine). Also, doesn't the presence of a movement disorder (i.e. facial, diaphragmatic, and mental tics) predispose me for neuroleptic induced dyskinesias?
poster:MB
thread:69306
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010701/msgs/69306.html