Posted by Dubya on July 20, 2001, at 22:06:06
Hi everyone... today was the 1st day where I went over 15mins without worry/anxiety. It felt great but, I am back to my messed up state. Just when I had hope, things get all messed up.
just about everybody who I have come across either believe that I am gifted or am very smart. Sadly, I cannot finish any task. In fact, it's so sad that I can't even complete community college courses... So I am basically doomed b/c, comm. college and university are good and without those two, one has a hard time developing a happy future.
I mean I have 2 incompletes on my transcript as of May 5th, 01. Those 2 instructors have given me the chance to do the work if I can finish it by this Tues. Please help me! I mean, I don't see a point in doing it because I am stupid and I try now to live life by the day, almost as if I am contemplating not being alive the next day. I basically feel that I shouldn't be alive and perhaps want to get attention by not completing those courses/my work. Why is this "cry" for help present? I am sort of contemplating doing the work or contemplating to seize existence, in a sense. BTW, I am on 40mg clomipramine... I have been taking it since Feb2001 and 2 weeks ago, I ran out and missed 3 or 4 days. and then I was back on it for 5 days b/c I got a few pills from the pharmacist and then I missed 3 days again and am starting to take it again tonight.
poster:Dubya
thread:71140
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010720/msgs/71140.html