Posted by terra miller on August 2, 2001, at 18:02:33
In reply to to Terra, posted by Elizabeth on August 1, 2001, at 14:22:31
to elizabeth-
> I wouldn't be that person.
*smile* i knew i should have read the whole thread. (remembering that game called "telephone" we played as kids.....)
> I'm confused about one thing in particular: you said you become tolerant to/dependent on benzos, but this doesn't happen with alcohol???
yes. i know; it doesn't make logical sense.>
> > maybe i should just rely on "the ol'system" to take care of the panic on its own like it knows how to do instead of trying to "handle the panic on my own???" do you understand the "nature" of my questions????????
>
> I think so. Can you say more about what you mean by panic?sure. for me there are two levels of anxiety. the first level might be from a flashback or memory or whatever, but i am able to talk myself through it or occupy myself and assure myself of my current surroundings/time; if i work hard enough i can push through this level of anxiety without taking anything. the second level of anxiety is more like frantic- bouncing off the walls- no way to calm myself down- panic. this level benefits from ativan/something. it is often brought on by a difficult flashback or memory that i didn't have any idea was there. ie: the greater the shock value the worse the panic.
so, for me, i am not anxious consistently. i'm certain my "fight or flight" is always on, though. i am always aware; it takes days to settle into a night of restful sleep, etc. i have just adapted. i still feel mentally sharp (most of the time *smile*) and i'm certain my body will be the first to weaken from being "on" all the time. the wellbutrin has helped in that sense- it's like adding "STP" to the fuel of your car's engine to make it run more efficiently. but, from time to time i get knocked off my feet and that's when i find medication beneficial for panic that's short term; and if dealing with a new flashback is particularly distressing it might mean i have to use sleep medication after a week or so because i've thrown my body off cycle (again) from not sleeping (the hypervigilance thing). this is probably why long-term-anxiety reducing-attempts/meds have not helped me but just made me feel very drugged. when necessary i want to retry the ativan, but don't want to have to do two weeks of withdrawals again just for one attempted dose when needed. grrrrr.
-terra
poster:terra miller
thread:72451
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010731/msgs/73154.html