Posted by Lorraine on September 17, 2001, at 12:22:42
In reply to Re: Update Lorainne, Elizabeth, et. al. » Lorraine, posted by shelliR on September 14, 2001, at 11:06:10
Hey, Shelli:
Day 7 of Nardil; Day 3 of 22.5 mg Nardil. Still alive and kicking; no sexual side effects so far (it's early, but, hey, hope is free). I'm doing ok, taking it day-by-day.
> > (hey, you want to meet me in santa fe next summer? :-) )
> > I thought you didn't like meeting psychobabblers;-). I don't know how our summer plans are shaping up (what with the kids and all summer gets crazy). But I might go to the east coast next summer. If I do, we might get together.
>
> Well, I actually I don't think I was serious. And I'm still not feeling like bringing board life into real life.I understand. I was skittish at the thought myself.
> > >Today I got an invitation to come out to Sierra Vista, AZ, which is supposed to be quite beautiful. The invite was from a client who just moved out there, but I don't know them well; just photographed them once recently. So I wouldn't feel comfortable taking her up on it, although I would call them if I get out there.
Maybe you could suggest they leave town for your visit < g >
>
> > This is a terrible time to try to distract yourself with TV though. I know you know all this, still..
>
> > > Well, I've never used TV as a distraction. It doesn't engage enough of my mine for it to be a distraction. ... If I can get into reading, that engages me more than anything, and it's good if I am already into a book so it doesn't involve transition.I'm actually thinking that reading a fiction book should be part of my wellness plan. You are right that it is very hard to "start" a book when you are down, but continuing it is not that hard. I'm also making a list of programs (radio) that I enjoy for my plan--I guess a list of distractors that I enjoy.
> > >She is working with more children recently and finds the pressure much greater. This is because of the part their parents play in creating (or reinforcing) their problems, and also because, sort of what you say about your kids, they are only this age once.
I can see that. Certainly, that is how I feel as a parent.
> > >I've thought of looking at churches to attend actually, although I am not religious, I just think the structure, the ritual, the "words" might be soothing now.
>
> I tried that years ago, and never found that, unfortunately. I have always had a hard time identifying with groups that I can't embrace completely.It's interesting. I was talking with my son about religion and which church he might want to go to and he said very much the same thing--that he doesn't accept all of the tenents of any of the religions, therefore he should form his own. Then I was reading a book about community and it said that you do not need to accept all of the tenets of a group, you just have to agree that this is what the group's tenets are--that the subordination of individuality or conformity to the group norm is no longer necessary for most modern groups and communities. Anyway, I suppose I hunger for community because I did not have it as a child. Anyway, maybe we will try it out--if it doesn't fit, well so what? Nothing lost.
> > > I hope it will feel like that; it always has before. I am going to *try* to limit my sittings this fall because of my depression.This is a good idea--just take it day by day and see how you do until you are stabilized. You might want to introduce some "structure" to take the place of the lost activities though.
> > >I would rather do that than go in the hospital. I don't see any benefit in being in the hospital now, aside from keeping me alive, which I'd rather do outside the hospital.
I suppose it is a matter of having sufficient coping skills to avoid hospitalization and realizing the limitation of your coping skills. I read somewhere that suicide occurs when someone's pain exceeds their ability to cope with pain. It places an interesting emphasis on coping skills.
> > > Well, as I said, I did consistently okay on 30mg, but I never felt totally without depression in my life. But I had a lot of stuff to work out. This feels much more biochemical, and that's how my pdoc refers to it.
Funny how we can tell the difference isn't it?
>
> > I also had very strange and scarey experiences not adjusting to natural light changes (especially from inside to outdoor sunlight) when I had been on 45mg for about six months.
> > Wellbutrin caused me to have visual trails and made lights dance--especially coming from a dark space (movie theatre or waking up) to a light space (movie theatre restroom).
>
> This was very very scary because I would "white" out. I became literally blinded by light and it became dangerous because at one point I couldn't figure out where the sidewalk connected to the street, and I had to get some workmen to help me across the street into a building. I'm sure they thought I was drunk. I am sensitive to light, but not literally blinded by it. Coming off the beach, out of the bright light and reflection, same experience. When I went back to 30mg and 45mg premenstrually it never happened again.Wellbutrin has a known side effect of seizure and I figured that these were like minor seizures or temporal lobe epilepsy sort of stuff. Not unpleasant, just unsettling and I worried that if I was driving in the dark and someone had their brights on, I'd become disoriented. I'll be alert to this side effect of Nardil tho, thanks for the heads up.
> So I'm actually a bit more social than usual.
>
> Yes, being a parent does have some social advantages like that, connections.It's even better. Because if your are social phobic (which I have some of), they provide natural conversation starters and help keep the focus off of yourself. Everyone talks to mothers of babies.
> > > I am rethinking lamictal, since it was of such benefit to me as an adjunct. Rethinking that perhaps there is a safe way to prevent all the fluid retention it caused me. I know it’s not as simple as taking diuretics, because I already tried that, but I have copied some info off the board which may be useful.
Lamictal drove me nuts with anxiety. Ah well--glad it worked for you and hope your attempts to moderate the side effects work.
Lorraine
poster:Lorraine
thread:67742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010917/msgs/78936.html