Posted by shelliR on October 11, 2001, at 0:20:27
In reply to Re: hanging in there » shelliR, posted by Lorraine on October 8, 2001, at 10:38:32
Hi Lorraine,
missed this post, I think.
> > > > Good move. Was your inclination to push *him* away , or *anyone* away who was interested in a long-term relationship.
>
> Probably anyone--certainly anyone that I had a real potential for relating to on an adult level. I had been in one other long term relationship with someone before this one but it was not nearly as threatening although I was committed.why was the first one less threatening?
>
>> > > >Have you taken the Myer Briggs? I am a INTJ.
> So am I and so is my husband.That's interesting to me. I have always been attracted to intraverts, and never bought for me the idea that opposites attract. One exception was my best friend for many many years -from college on-was an extroverted feeling type. If I had been gay, I would have married her!, although I struggled around her feeling vs thinking, and as a friend I would pull back because she was so intense about expressing how important I was to her. But I was never bored with her. She's a therapist now and for various reasons we have not kept in close contact. But she is in group supervision for her practise and she told me the leaders are intriged with her--they have never supervised a therapist who had such hysteric tendencies.
But I have never been attracted to an extraverted man. I do think it might be easier for me to get along with a INTP because I would think that our Js might clash a lot. Have you felt the tug I am talking about at all with your husband?
>
>
> > > >All my past therapists have been feeling types and I have gotten very frustrated much of the time. This therapist has taught me a lot about staying on track
> So her no nonsense approach is actually appreciated by you usually...?It's very complicated. She has been able to teach me to get myself back on track and that is very satisfying to me; going around in circles of course is very frustrating. She has helped me make my life easier, let go off distructive feelings, let go of little hurts that I had a tendency to hold on to. There are things about her that I have a great deal of difficulty with. When they come up I identify them as peculiarities of her personality. I think she has some very very blind spots that I have to contend with as her patient. But there is no point focusing on them because she can't see them (and I have no doubt that they are there). Recently I think that perhaps because of these things it may be time to move on to work with someone else. This would not be a good time for change. And I don't have anyone in mind, because there are a limited amount of specialists in dissociative disorder that acccept my insurance. My therapist friend has a supervisor who she thinks is both brilliant and very caring but I don't know yet if he accepts my insurance.
> >
> >
> > BTW, I think you are testing this impairment possiblity a bit more than is truely neccesary for a fair trial. < g >.
> It's the married thing--full of trials and tribulations. Some single people, by the way, are pretty self-sufficient.Actually, I think it is very special that you work so hard to have a good marriage, and the working seems to very much pay off.
>
> The sex is a gift to the marriage. The truth is that when I lose interest or desire because of my meds, it doesn't bother--but it wreaks havoc on the marriage in lots of ways. Sex is more than sex. In my marriage, it is one of the ways my husband feels loved--me too actually.I understand, and again I think that is a very wonderful thing.
>>
> Next plan is to add some Klonopin; then Adderal if that makes me too drugged out; then I think Marplan; then I think maybe an SSRI and amphetamine. My pdoc wants me to do another QEEG and he may be right.I forget. What will a QEEG show?
>
>
> >
> > > What was atarax like?
> > I take atarax to sleep and it also works the next day for me as an antihistamine.It knocks me out pretty well, with not much hangover. I do wake up slowly in the morning, but that seems more recent. I don't remember having an drowsiness before in the morning from it until this year. And as a bonus, I don't itch anymore from histamine problems.
>
> But it works to put you to sleep. I think I speed up on antihistamines.I have that effect on most over the counter antihistamines. Like benadril messes me up pretty badly--loud pulse, morning anxiety when I tried it for sleep. This feels totally different. No side effects.
>
>>
> > > >The big thing for me is going to be a huge change in marketing, selling myself and my decision to go digital, without seeming defensive.
>
> I think you just say that you are making the switch because of the artistic flexibility that digital affords you. You might show a side by side of hand painted vs digital to quiet their fears.Actually my hand-colored work will still be printed by hand because I haven't found a flat photolooking paper that will let me blend the oils. It's the black & white only that will change.
> > > >But it is harder to explain on the phone (not doing hand-prints anymore?)
> Put a side by side on the website? It might help although not everyone does the web.Easy in person. But yes, difficult on the phone, although I imagine that I will get better at making it sound matter of fact after a while. People generally come from too far a distance to pop over to see my work. Especially because Washington is such a workaholic town, and kids are all on soccer teams among various other actiivities. So mostly people have either seen my work hanging (and it would be complicated to change it now, because of factors I'm too tired to get into), have friends that have come to me, or they have seen my ad, and my website. On the website at at 76 dpi resolution, there would be no difference even if the quality of my new system was really bad. (Plus I think it would be too defensive of an act). I may print up wallet size samples that I could send out, but it's been nice lately--I e-mail everything to people now (price list, directions)--no more snail mail.
>>
> I rejoined my writing class. I think I shocked them a bit. The theme of my first poem was suicide. The second about being seduced by depressionl. Guy who runs it makes a big point about presentation. I wanted to sort of sink into the chair, but he made me move and talk about my kids and then read--which pretty much had me reduced to tears. Reading is such a vulnerable act, you know.So before you read, you talked about your family? It seems like a really interesting and personal class.
>Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:67742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011007/msgs/80942.html