Posted by Anna Laura on November 23, 2001, at 3:01:59
In reply to What is the meaning of life?, posted by 3 Beer Effect on November 22, 2001, at 16:43:53
> I always wanted to ask older people (over 30), what they would do different, or what they wish they knew then that they know now, if they were 23 (like me) and just graduating college again.
>
> I am doing much better with social anxiety/depression on a celexa/klonopin combo & haven't drank for a month & a half, so I am trying to find ways to enrich/change my life with my newfound optimism.
There are a just a few things that i regret .
I was too open minded wih people, always smiling and being cheerful, always trying to help, which is a good thing , but remember one thing: think about yourself first.
I was overly sensitive cause i had been depressed already so i was deeply concerned with suffering, i was often wondering about the meaning of human suffering, eager to do anything to soothe pain.
I was an idealist, which again, is a good thing, but i was too much involved, always thinking about other people first instead of worrying about myself. I did things that i'd regret forever because of that: i got depressed but i was on my way to recover: i met a wonderful guy, a veterinary, who made me feel really good. We were planning to go on vacation together etc...His parents were wonderful persons, taking care of me just ike a family.
Then this other guy showed up: he was loaded with pain, he was a very sensitive, tender and passionate person: he had been an heroin addict for the past ten years.
I began taking care of this person: he was doing better day by day, but as he was getting better, i was getting worse: i was depressed and i really didn't need that!
The vet begged me to get rid of him, but i didn't. "Don't you realize it's killing you?" he would say; but i didn't listen to him.
Then one day the vet packed his bags and left town; " i can't stand watching you on the way of self destruction without being able to do anything about it".
I thought he'd come back, but he never did.
I got seriously depressed within months. The other guy wanted to help me since he was grateful, but he couldn't: he had healed from his problem, but still, he was a very sad person and he made even more depressed.
The outcome was that i entered the tunnel of major depression and never recovered.
My friends abandoned me: they were thinking about their problems first: career, college and personal issues, so i was left alone.
The moral of the story is: it's fine being kind and wanting to help but think about your priorities first: as soon as you recover you might feel fine, but you're still vulnerable, so please do anything that would make you stronger/happier; people who had been suffering in their lives are more compassionate and empathic then the other people, and they often want to help and soothe other people wounds; Well, think about your wounds first; don't be too naive with people: friends are very important it's true, but you have to learn to be selective with people, not letting anybody invade your life. If you know all these things already you made a giant step on the road to full recovery, (and you didn't need to read my mail !).Good luck boy
poster:Anna Laura
thread:84931
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011113/msgs/84958.html