Posted by Peter on November 30, 2001, at 2:12:34
In reply to Re: ex drug-addicts and psychopharmocology, posted by gilbert on November 29, 2001, at 18:53:23
> Hi Gil:
I went to rehab and was in AA for about a year. I worked with a sponser, but continued to relapse. Finally, I left the program, rebelled in a big way, went on a speedball spree, and ended up being detoxed and monitered by a special doctor . That was the last of it; I went directly from detox to my first meeting with the pdoc. It was then that I was placed on depakote and a variety of different medications over the years since. I agree with you fully that one can still be sober and miserable because of an underlying mental disorder and that, in fact, in most cases addicts/alcoholics seek drugs and alcohol in the first place for relief of these underlying illnesses, even if they are unaware of it at the time. Taking xanax to help with severe panic is completely understandable and logical, even for a sober addict. Right after I detoxed that last time and went on depakote, I did not return to AA. For me, Church became the answer (though I had never had any experiences with religion in the past except negative ones). But I believe, in my particular case, that God began to reveal himself to me through AA, and that led me to seek Him in Church. That works for me. I have alot of spiritual support, new friends, positive role models, and I'm seeing a counseler who has experience with addictions. My quality of life is ok. The only thing that I can't seem to stop worrying about is that I might be on the wrong medications or that I might not need medication. I tried, with the advice of an AA friend/fellow jazz musician, to taper off everything to see how I'd be. But I ended up running back to the doc for relief, just like as an active addict I used to run for the drugs whenever I'd feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. So it's a catch 22! Oh well, just felt like venting. Thanks,
Peter
poster:Peter
thread:85484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011123/msgs/85600.html