Posted by IsoM on January 19, 2002, at 2:10:31
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response » Seamus2, posted by Mr. Scott on January 19, 2002, at 1:42:37
Scott, I do understand I think, how you feel, just not to that extent. A person gets desperate to put a label on what/how/why they feel a certain way. As humans, we naturally want to categorise & label everything to understand it better.
I've always thought of myself in terms of a handful of little "gems" - no bragging, but no false modesty either. I have some wonderful outstanding qualites, BUT... I never seem to be able to really do anything with these very good qualities I have, as I also have some very lame qualities. Lots of little "gems", but I can't put it together to make a nice "necklace", so to speak. Very, very frustrating.
So I keep thinking, if there was only some way I could overcome my bad qualities. Why do I act that way? Why is it so hard to stop doing the same stupid things I do? (or more like - why don't I do the positive things needed? I'm more of a non-doer than I bad doer.) Then I get thinking, if I can put a name to it, maybe I'd know how to treat it!! And I can go around in circles thinking like this.
So I think to myself "stop obsessing about what to call it & just do something, dummy!" Round & round it goes. Sounds familiar, right? It's hard to shake it off sometimes, but you need to keep trying.
I've come to realise that I can't always help thinking like this at times, but I'll be damned if I'll give in & wallow in the mood. It's not like I can just make a decision one day to stop thinking foolishly & never think that way again. I know I will. It's a matter of whenever I catch myself falling into those thought patterns, to say "okay, enough thinking. Get up & do something instead" - just like Seamus suggested!
I'll be fine for awhile, then start up again. I know my analogy is a little overdone, but it's like the war is only won by many little battles. Each time you start thinking wrong, go DO something else to derail that train of thought.
Actually, on the adrafinil, I haven't been so pessimistic thinking lately. Who knows? Maybe one day I will make that "necklace" after all!
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> Just can't seem to stop thinking about why and exactly how I'm F___ up. Somehow I believe that If I know the answers I'll be able to change.
> Scott
poster:IsoM
thread:90605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020116/msgs/90743.html