Posted by Shanti on March 16, 2002, at 7:32:40
In reply to Re: I'm right behind you, posted by Angel Girl on March 16, 2002, at 2:45:09
good morning everyone!
i agree sue doe about the anger feelings as well, yes i too am learning to intergrate them so to speak into my life as well, i tend to forget that those feelings are also a part of me as well and instead of denying them, i should be celebrating them so to speak, i will certainly find that out now, because once again i am starting to enter "the demon zone" (ha ha) i did ok yesterday now i have to work on today but i can do it especially when i come to my computer and read the posts of some "new friends" i have found.
as for the withdrawls when i was on paxil i found that when i went off them i experienced kind of the same feelings as going on them - i thought they were severe during the withdrawals but never thought about it when beginning them. the weirdest thing i experienced and the best way to describe it is i felt "surreal" at times. when i do decided to stop this medicine i will just tell myself that just like the saying goes "if it comes up it must come down!"
as for husbands, mine is 50/50. at times he is supportive and at other times not. sue doe i wish you the best because i believe you need support especially those closest to you - what about 1 of your 9 childlren are they there for you? as for friends/family the same thing for me. my family thinks i'm weird - funny thing though if you compare "successes" out of 9 children i would be considered the successful one but yet i'm weird with the problem! i wish i could honestly talk about my feelings with my family and discuss some of the ways i was brought up with my step family (very long story) and how it shall we say contributed to my depression but all i get from my stepmother is i was an unhappy child who always felt cheated and had a chip on my shoulder. never mind that we didn't show love, praise oneother etc. when i had my first child because i felt i didn't receive this as a child i overdid it with him then that would in turn be one of the things that would set off the depression because i overdid it (that manicness once again,) and then when things didn't turn out the way i expected them to be it i would not only experience depression but my young son (2 years at the time actually most of his young life) would be the one who would have to live through mommies next episode. i am happy to say that he is turning 10 at the end of next month and with his mom's help (lots of talking / going to family counselling etc. ) may i prevent my son if possible from experiencing any of this . you see, i can see it in him and it scares the hell out of me (very manic) so what i do is i tell him his energies are "high" and he needs to bring them done a bit, these seems to work and lots of talking helps as well.
As for support thank you Dr. Bob! for these wonderful pepole who unfortunately expierence the same difficulties but remeber everyone with each other's support we can do it and who knows maybe our families will wake up and smell the coffee and offer the support that each of us needs.
ps do you think they are not supportive because 1. it is fear for them to admit that maybe their spouse/friend etc. isn't quite right according to society and also if the one closest to them isn't "quite right" are they maybe not "quite right" either.
or
2. change - it is a proven fact that most people hesitate when it comes to change (for me i knew that i would be taking 1 year mat. leave and prepared my self mentally for it but low and behold on Oct. 15/01 when i started my mat. leave i cried like hell because i didn't know how to "change" even though i knew it was coming. i learned with this because since then my husband lost his job and it was march break this week so since being off i have "changed" my daily routine 3 times but you know what i can do this as long as i am aware of it and don't let myself fight it instead as one would say "i embrace" it. now that i got my tangent out! ha hagoing back to change - when we are experiencing our "changes" especaially when depression strikes or we stop/start new medicine i think our family/friends don't quite know how to cope with it and with depression it is like a yo-yo always up and down. now if you agree with #2 it's just getting your family/friends to talk about it and their feelings when it happens. which is very hard for people to do but it can be done.
angel girl,
great to see your post!
may everyone have an enjoyable day today (you probably won't read this until late tonight!)
peace,
shanti
poster:Shanti
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020313/msgs/98285.html