Posted by OldSchool on March 26, 2002, at 21:35:24
In reply to Hate drug?, posted by OldSchool on March 25, 2002, at 18:43:51
I think some of you got the wrong idea about what I was saying. I feel sooooo guilty a lot of the time, like Ive done something bad but another part of my brain knows I have done nothing wrong. But I feel super guilty for no reason, but Im educated enough to know that is clinical depression and the disease plays tricks on your mind, makes you feel guilty for no reason, etc.
But when you roll all this into one...the guilt, the cant sleep good thing, you feel like shit all the time, you cant think clearly to hold a job, you cant work...you just feel grumpy and feel like you wanna tell the world to fuck off. But you dont, you just suck it up and stay depressed.
Sometimes I feel so guilty I almost feel persecuted for no damn reason whatsoever, which is really bad and I dont tell my psychiatrist that. I know Im psychotic. Like Im a bad person, youre a bad person, the world is a bunch of shit, etc. etc. etc. Im worthless, people are worthless, whats the fucking point of even being here?
Course I dont really believe it, cause there is another side to my brain that recognizes this stuff is untrue and from the depression. But I wonder if someday I will just like have a brain meltdown and start thinking Im a bad person for real. Then I wonder what would happen to me. Maybe become a street person or something.
poster:OldSchool
thread:100102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020322/msgs/100416.html