Posted by ChrisK on April 6, 2002, at 6:42:06
I appreciate your thirst for knowledge but let me say one thing that helped me out a lot... try to treat your symptoms rather than the whole disease at once.
I'm 39 now and first saw a psychiatrist for my depression when I was 17. It's been off and on since then with some OK times and some terrible times. My first serious suicide attempt was in December of 1997. I spent 3 days in ICU after an overdose and then 14 days in a Psychiatric Hospital. I was pretty serious about ending my life.
At that time I didn't find the right doctor or medicine. Four months later I ended up in the same hospitals when a friend called the police to check on me when I took a much more lethal overdose. It was a very painful experience but I did find a doctor I liked. I was able to work with him, trying almost every med in sight.
I can't even remember all of the meds I tried but suffice it to say that I went through just about all of the modern drugs but finally settled on an old standby TCA, Nortriptyline. It was the one thing that releived my baseline depression without making me numb to any emotions,
I also fought with the suicidal thoughts and those were helped with Zyprexa. That med more than any other started to help me get my life back. But it really did just help one symptom of my disease.
I still went on for several years with anhedonia. I just could not find anything to feel good about and until I read here about the Dopamine drugs I didn't think there was any hope. I did a little research and talked my doctor into letting me try Mirapex. That ended up being the final piece of the puzzle.
I'm able to go back to work now after 5 years of disability because I couldn't function as a regular person. Besides being suicidal I had awful anxiety problems and panic attacks that left me emotionally crippled. There were months that I couldn't go out the front door for fear that I would end up crying in a ball on the ground. They were very terrible times that only a few people can really understand. I know that my wife and family could never appreciate what I went through emotionally.
It took a long time for me to get to where I am. I tried to tackle one symptom at a time. I know you want everything to get better right away but unfortunately that's not the way these mental diseases work. They take time and experimentation. Everyone is a little different. I had a great reaction to Zyprexa and people like Old School didn't. You may be doing well with Depakote but for me they were like taking sugar pills.
I hope that you have a doctor that you are comfortable with and can talk to, someone you trust. That seems to be the one constant here - an open relationship with the one prescribing your meds.
These problems can't be cured in days. They take time and effort. It can happen though. I've come back from spending 24 days in a mental hospital during a 4 month period to the point where I can work and own a home again. These are things that were the furthest from my mind 4 years ago.
Give things a chance to work. Don't try to reinvent psychopharmacology. Even though you are frustrated now you will find what's best for you. A solution is out there.
Chris
poster:ChrisK
thread:102127
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020402/msgs/102127.html