Posted by katekite on April 11, 2002, at 16:08:49
In reply to Wow, sounds very similar katekite, posted by amber_spirit on April 11, 2002, at 13:36:57
Hi,
Well I'm just in the middle of my first pill of ritalin, 5 mg.
It feels like I took valium. I can't believe this is an upper for some people.
Here is how it makes me feel: my head feels calm, the world of tweeting birds and talking people and cars and everyone else's feelings and needs feels as if it is now at arms reach, that I have a boundary around me, where before this all felt 'in my face'..... but I can only say that in retrospect. In fact the world sounds a bit muffled. I've never felt like this in my memory, the closest thing would be to be fully awake but have the anti-anxiety effect of a lot of valium or a few drinks.
It feels like a subtle effect to me. However, I just got home from seeing my therapist and he commented that I'd managed to have a coherent 'deep' conversation for an entire hour with him, out in the park (its a nice day, we went out). Had I just 'been me' I would have jumped around subjects and made jokes, or talked about something easy just because of feeling a bit weird about having therapy outdoors, or feeling self concious that passing people would overhear us or something. But I just got down to business instead. Less reactive to my environment.
I also feel a bit flat emotionally, I guess. That things that would normally irritate me aren't. Frustration tolerance much higher. Mostly tolerance for myself, for example if I miss a freeway exit I didn't beat myself up over it, I just turned around. I don't mind the flatness, I think if I decrease my klonopin I'll get some energy back.
Life feels like is simpler than I thought.
Stimulants or uppers are the one drug I always thought I would never try as I certainly did not need "more" of how I feel/felt. I always was more interested in pot or alcohol that would just give me a little relaxation.
So that's all good, I guess. I don't feel euphoric or anything, more like I had a relaxing day, which if I think about it I didn't at all.
I hope this effect doesn't wear off. I've heard a few reports of people having to up their dose, or it stops working.
I still am having trouble believing the ADD diagnosis, though I would have to be in denial at this point. For example, I'm not late all the time, I got great grades in college, I don't feel like I 'space out', I never lost pens or homework. But I think maybe I would be all that if I hadn't practiced for 30 years feeling frantic over those things. Like at the end of a school day I would feel like crying for no understandable reason, just wound up and tired, probably from hurriedly copying down every spec of available information so I didn't miss anything. Like life was harder than it needed to be, other people seemed more relaxed and having fun. Right now I feel relaxed, normally I would be thinking to myself I should get off the computer, etc.
I went and ran errands on the way home and was not socially anxious compared to usual. I was just going about my business and mostly ignoring others.
Ok well that's the report. I just have my fingers crossed I'll stay this way.
My shrink today also said he agrees he thinks the hot thing is serotonin mediated, mild serotonin syndrome. So don't up your effexor dose suddenly as you said you feel warmer on effexor.
kate
poster:katekite
thread:102572
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020408/msgs/102784.html