Posted by sid on April 14, 2002, at 11:16:14
In reply to Re: Borderline? » sid, posted by IsoM on April 14, 2002, at 1:38:56
Well, thanks y'all!
I do believe I was unstable, irritable, very angry, etc. during major depression. But not now.
The doctor simply said perhaps I should look into a program designed for people with BPD, and if I think I fit the profile, I should see a psychiatrist to get a firm diagnostic. I called the place, and as it turns out, they only deal with "severe" cases, i.e., people who have gone to prison due to their behavior, people who can't work, who are on disability, who attempted suicide, etc. I don't fit into any of that.I must say that the last 2 times I've seen my doctor, I ranted a lot. 3 weeks ago, about being fat and not having the energy to exercise and feelong stuck in a body that doesn't feel like me anymore, now that I'm not depressed. This last time I saw her, I ranted about the anxiety that my family causes me, especially my sister and brother-in-law. My sister was in the waiting room, seeing the doc after me (pure coincidence, we realized it 2 days before our appointments), and she had insisted big time on us having b-fast after seeing the doc. I was sure she wanted to give me crap about something - like rolling my eyes at her husband during Easter dinner when he made sex-related comments as if it was not rude at all and as if he was God-on-earth, with permission to do anything just because he's a man. He's not that old (55), but he does think that as a man, he's allowed anything. And my stupid sister behaves like she agrees; she's only 47 for God's sake. As it turns out, my sister just wanted us to have b-fast, talk and have fun. There's a change! I'd say her therapy is having positive effects on me! Whenever she'd want to spend time with me before, it would be to tell me what to do or to change my attitude with her ?%$&?%/$&%? of a husband. Or to take better care of my parents, like I was born just for that - I had to run away to another country for 7 years to break that pattern.
Anyway, I think the doctor probably sees me as someone who's still very angry, simply I talk about what bothers me in her office. Of course I'm angry there! I'm telling her about my difficulties, which seems normal, since I'm being treated for depression/dysthymia.
I did a diagnosis test on the web yesterday, for all sorts of psych-related disorders, and I realized that the symptoms for BPD have to be "most of your life" or since early adulthood, and the test did discriminate for different behavrios/thoughts/symptoms during vs. outside of depression. It finally diagnosed me with a major depression problem, in remission. Which I knew.
Well, thanks for responding. I guess it's clearer for me now. I still think I am rather avoidant, and I'm working on it. I decided not to call it a disorder, rather a flaw that I'm working on!
- sid
poster:sid
thread:102988
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020408/msgs/103043.html