Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 15:22:05
In reply to I totally agree... » sid, posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 14:44:46
Thank you for your reply! Finally someone who does not automatically antagonize me when I say I want to spend my life alone.
Gosh, I'm so tired of peole questioning me about that. Next time I see my doc, I think I'll just tell her it's really none of her business. If she does not like me for my choice, it's her problem, not mine. Do I question her on her personal life? She asks how I am, I say fine, that's pretty much all she needs to know as far as I'm concerned.
Oh, and once more, she tried to convince me that I'm borderline. Borderline people can't stand being alone. Hello.
Now that I think of it, it sounds like it's time for me to look for another doctor. Yuk. I hate switching docs, therapists, etc... What a waste of time.
> I am truly impressed. That is wonderful and as long as things are working for you, why pay for therapy? As I posted earlier, I don't get therapy very often, only every 5 or 10 yrs. I go to my pdoc every 3 to 6 months just for med checks.
I don't do therapy anymore, I go to her (general doc) every 3 weeks to see how I'm doing and adjust meds if needed. Today she started playing therapist and got on my nerves more than anything else.
> I agree. If no one is being hurt, especially you, people should back off.
People constantly try to convince me that I'm hurting myself. "We're being completely inconsiderate and impolite for your own good." That's what hurts - not being accepted! I don't lose sleep over it, but when I go to have lunch with a couple of friends in a restaurant, thinking we'll have lively and interesting conversation, and they won't get off my back about me being single, it does bother me.
> I am 46 years old and have finally learned that having a lot of friends is mostly superficial. It is fine to be acquainted w/ people and have fun with them, but I have learned the hard way that we have only a few "real" friends in our entire life. People come in and out of our experience, but only 2 or 3 will really love us, disregard our flaws, and forgive our foibles.
I do agree. I long for deeper relationships, but I doubt it could be in a romantic setting. I am close to some friends, but I've lived in many countries and they are all over the world. On a day-to-day basis, I don't have anyone, I haven't had in almost 2 years, except my family members, some of whom drive me nuts more often than not. I have one friend left in my hometown and I realized that we're not what I call friends. We have an ongoing twice a year gift exchange (b-day and x-mas), that's pretty much the extent of our relationship. I'm concentrating on my career because it's been delayed by depression and it is urgent that I take care of it, else I will not have a career at all. So I don't go out much, and I'm tired when I do and don't feel like socializing. I'm way past the age where others' expectations dictate what I do, don't do, think, don't think, etc. I won't make make efforts to make friends just because my doc thinks I should. I won't find a boyfriend (where the hell do you find one of those?) just because she thinks I should. And I won't increase my AD dosage just because she does not agree with my lifestyle choices. It sucks that I have no close friends around here, but I'm not going to lose sleep over that either.
> Perhaps your doc doesn't realize how content you are and how full your life really is. You have explained very clearly to me how you feel, and I had no problem understanding it. IMO, your attitude seems very healthy.
I was so happy to have gone to the movies last night - great movie "Monsoon Wedding." I was simply telling her that now that I'm not depressed anymore and that I have more energy, since the dose time switch, I am going out more than before. She started: with whom? Nobody? Why? etc... the interogatory started and I left in tears. Can't even enjoy a movie anymore.
> Don't go there! Masturbation is safer - Its certainly less work. ;-)
:-)
> At your next visit, tell your doctor that you have a wonderful best friend and lover that is committed to you forever. Someone who accepts you the way are and takes good care of you. Someone who supports you and takes you wherever you want to go. Someone who shares all your interests and is committed to your wellbeing. When she express delight, tell her that you are your own best friend and that you are happy and content.That's what I think: as long as you're happy with yourself, you're happy, period. She won't accept that. Anyway, I wasted part of my day being angry and disturbed by all this. I don't even know another doctor I could go to. I might continue with her though - she needs to know that I did not appreciate her little incursion in my personal life.
> I love myself too, but I don't treat myself as good as I should. I don't take care of myself all the time, but I get great help from this board.
I believe it is the work of a lifetime, to learn to take care of oneself first and others second (those we choose to take care of).
> Lots more love and luckYou too!
- sid
poster:sid
thread:104752
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020425/msgs/104801.html