Posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 7:17:26
Hello all. I'm new to the board, and I would like to hear your advice on medications.
First, I suppose, an introduction is in order.... I'm 24/F/Florida, with a perfectly average health and life history. But somewhere around age 15, I lost my ability to feel emotions. I tried to tell people about it, but no one took me seriously. My parents thought it was some sort of teenage phase. Here I am, 9 years later, still getting no emotional reaction from anything I do, nor from anything that happens to me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.
I also have a harder time thinking thoughts... my sense of touch seems blunted... my motivation level is always at zero. Objects look more distant, somehow; not optically, but like they're not as "real" (even though I know they are).
I am like this 24 hours a day.
I've seen doctors about my problem, of course. They've tried the usual SSRIs on me, and it just made everything WORSE. My environment went from looking a little filtered/distant to looking downright etheral (like being stoned*)... I got really paranoid and anxious, had insomnia, and felt even more zombie-like.
*(For the record: I have experimented with pot once, for about a week, during college. Now I don't use illegal drugs, of any sort, at all.)
I don't have enough money to do the doctor thing anymore. So, I'm considering taking matters into my own hands and ordering drugs from overseas...
If SSRIs made my condition worse, then wouldn't it make sense to try drugs that would LOWER my serotonin balance?
I found a list of things that too much serotonin does on a webpage tonight, and it seems to fit most of my symptoms!
So I'm thinking about lowering my serotonin levels experimentally, to see if that helps. So far the only promising one I've found has been Tianeptine, but I recall seeing a list somewhere of half a dozen other serotonin-reducing drugs. Can anyone point me in the right direction, here?
Oh, one last note. I haven't been on any medications now for over a year, except for Piracetam + choline... which I ordered on the vague chance that it might help, although it really doesn't do much more than make me feel slightly more alert. I take it daily anyway.
In any case, if anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know... I've been researching my condition like crazy for years now, and there's really not much information on it, out there. This anti-SSRI idea is giving me some hope. Medication recommendations, advice?
Thanks,
eris
poster:eris-24
thread:115787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020807/msgs/115787.html