Posted by utopizen on August 18, 2002, at 9:29:37
In reply to BENZOS OR ALCOHOL: WHAT DO YOU PREFER?, posted by hiba on August 18, 2002, at 2:36:27
I'm in college, and am just starting out.
I have had just a few experiences at parties where I drink, I drink too much because I get euphoric and talk a lot, and then the next day I'm embarassed because I acted like a freak (talking so much).
I'm lucky and smart enough to know this isn't a pattern I want to define myself with, and worse, do it for life. Because of the few experiences I've had with alcohol, the only word I can think of to describe it is to say I despise it.
I figured out I was taking alcohol to talk, because I felt anxious enough I had trouble talking freely at parties. Then my psyc. told me it was ok to not talk at parties, and mostly listen to others. I didn't believe him, until I realized that at the end of the night, alcohol made me worse than before.
So now I take klonopin, before a party. It's my chill pill. Sometimes I'll do the forbidden and mix it with a single beer, but I know it's not enough to shut down my CNS! The combination seems to help me talk without resorting to intoxicating myself. For some reason, klonopin alone makes me so chill I don't feel like talking, although I don't care, because all I want to do is seem chill.
But in general, I hate alcohol, and much rather prefer to be sober at parties. Recently, I laughed at a drunk girl doing a silly gesture to me. I laughed at her. Why? Because the opposite happened to me before, and this way I got to point out to myself it's more fun to laugh at a drunk than be laughed at as a drunk.
I realize everyone has different feelings on alcohol, benzos, mostly because they all feel differently on them- I consider klonopin my anti-drug. I haven't tried others, although I'm curious. Klonopin is more second-generation, I've heard, and I like hi-tech drugs.
If you want alcohol in a pill, take a high dose of Neurontin. It'll make you think every girl (or boy) is attractive if you take enough (maybe) and your coordination won't exist until you've been on it for a week. You'll also talk a lot (maybe) and say things with less control (maybe). You'll appear like a zombie to your friends, and have absolutely no personality if you take enough. Yet somehow this is my miracle drug, which might say something about how much I hate being anxious.
At least with N, you can have the appearance of being sober, as long as you slept enough to avoid nodding off like a junkie.
poster:utopizen
thread:116776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020814/msgs/116796.html