Posted by Peter on October 29, 2002, at 3:12:09
Hi all:
Well, I'm really overwhelmed; I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm so confused at the validity of my diagnosis, and I'm shocked at the amount of meds I'm on now. And this is coming from someone who's been on multiple combos for almost a decade. My basic diagnosis is cyclothymia/possible ADD/and some SP and Panic (though I haven't had a panick attack in years since I started klonopin-and before that I had only had 2 or 3 within a few months). I've been on just about everything. Lately, after trying lithium w/bad effects, I returned to depakote, since it's at least tolerable-though not very effective (I think it sedates me too much and makes me prone to depression). I've also been taking zoloft for the last 1/2 year for depressive dips and SP, but, though I didn't notice anything but a few days of less sleep, my pdoc immediately designated this occurence as SSRI-induced hypomania. So I'm tapering off the zoloft, and he's slowly adding lamictal to the depakote; Ideally, the Lamictal will replace both depakoter and zoloft. That would be promising, but I'm not even half done here: I used to take 10mg adderall XR, but because of sedation/depression, we've increased the adderall to 50mgIR daily over the last few months. I also take .5mg klonopin during the day to calm any adderall agitation, and then for bed-get this-I take a wopping 3mg klonopin , 30mg temazepam, and ambien all together (with my 750mg depakote and 25mg current lamictal). Once again, I feel like a living pharmacy. But not only does that bother me: it's at times like these when I really wonder if all this negative obsessiveness with meds outweighs the possible positive effects of the meds. In addition, I often wonder how accurate my diagnosis is-I mean, it's very possible that other, more psychological, as opposed to biological, factors might be leading to mood shifts/anxiety, etc. Even drug side-effects could lead to false diagnoses and result in the adding of more drugs instead of elimination of the culprit drug; for instance, I've been on Anti-convulsants for many years. It's very possible that they (especially the benzos) have overall affected my memory/mood/and alertness. So, adding Adderall works to counteract all that, but so would tapering off the AV's themselves! Especially since my case is 'mild,' as my pdoc has put it many times. Now I just find that every day I'm popping pills, and I end up getting utterly consumed with single projects, only to end up after 10 hours or so having forgotten to eat and hardly getting anything constructive done. I can't seem to spread out or balance my responsibilities and I'm neglecting my family and friends; I just want to be alone all the time. So I don't know what's going on. It's 4a.m-I gotta get away from this computer. Been on it all day and night. Thanks in advance for any advice.
Peter
poster:Peter
thread:125636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021025/msgs/125636.html