Posted by androog on January 21, 2003, at 13:29:13
In reply to Re: opiates and major depression, posted by Blah on January 21, 2003, at 10:12:54
Hi All,
Androog here. I wanted to let you know some interesting things about tramadol and how it has worked with my depression. Bear in mind that my memory has some gaping holes in it from the ECT I had done 2 years ago. I still don't retain info very well, so I apologize if I repeat myself in this post.
First, I should mention that I am a recovering alcohoic ( I hate that term -- sounds like I'll recover some day and be able to drink resonsibly). I have also been through the drug ringer with regards to my chemical dependency.
Second, the fact that I have this history of chemical dependence has raised a red flag with every pdoc I have ever seen. They shudder at the thought of giving someone like me a potentially addictive drug. They don't shudder at the mention of suicide, which is apparently preferable to chemical dependence, as is frying your brain with ECT.
That said, I 'm happy to report that in the almost two years that I have been taking tramadol my intake has actually dropped. In fact, I am taking only about half of what I was taking a year ago.
This is interesting to me because addiction usually (always?) involves an increased tolerance of the addictive substance. This has not been my experience with tramadol.I must admit that in the past I have tried taking more tramadol than I really need. Once an addict always an addict. The result of the excessive tramadol intake on me has been negative -- dizziness and disorientation rather than the euphoria I would have expected. This has worked in my favor because I no longer take more than I need. The tramadol seems to have a fail-safe mechanism built into it to foil my addictive tendencies. It's a great relief to me to know that I won't have to keep increasing my dosage -- not because I'm that concerned about addiction, but because of the lack of availability of the tramadol. Addiction can be reversed, suicide cannot.
With regards to Blah's experience with pdocs, I have had the same thing happen over and over. It has become clear to me that the vast majority of those who treat major depression have never experienced it. They say "Take this drug and see me in 3 weeks". This is akin to saying "Take aspirin for 3 weeks and we'll see if that relieves the pain of your compound fracture". It's nothing short of cruelty, but in an ignorant sort of way.
Blah, people like us have to accept the fact that the severity of our disease is something most pdocs only read about. Problem is, words don't begin to describe the horror of major depression, so unless they've experienced it firsthand, they'll only know what they read in a book or hear from their patients. Try describing sight to a person who has been blind since birth. It's not much different than what we go through with our pdocs.
I have no idea, of course, if tramadol will work for everyone. It probably won't. I also don't know what kind of pysical toll, if any, it has taken on my body. Only time will tell.
What I do know is that if it had not been for the tramadol I would probably not be here to write this. I figure I have lived at least a year longer than I would have without it, so any injurious effects I've experienced from it are, in my mind, offset by my increased longevity and quality of life.
I'm not a physician and I 'm operating solely on the basis of my experience, but ignorance coupled with experience is better than ignorance alone, and the treatment I was receiving involved only ignorance.
Blah, don't do something rash while there are still options open to you, even if those options are unorthodox. I never thought I'd feel okay again when I was in the pit of despair, yet here I am writing this post when I should be working ;>)
I know how awful you feel and how scared you can get when you start to believe that suicide is the only answer. Words ring hollow when you're hurting like you must be, but I'll use 'em anyhow. Something will work for you, and your depression is NOT your fault. Call around and see if there is a pdoc in your area that is willing to use tramadol or opiates to treat depression. That's what I did, and I was surprised at the response.
Hang in there, Blah!
Androog
poster:androog
thread:81414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030119/msgs/136898.html