Posted by titleistguy on January 25, 2003, at 1:27:09
Hi, my name is Sean, and I am 19 years old and live in Canada. I’ve been having a really hard time the past 10 months, and was wondering if you could, perhaps, give me some information and/or advice?
Here’s my story: Last September (2001), I was sitting in class on the first day of school, and basically had a “panic attack” (I didn’t know what it was then, but my Psychiatrist now tells me that’s what it was). Anyhow, at that time, I went to see my Family Doctor, and he gave me 20mg of Prozac.
Now, for about 3 years prior to this, I’d been having an increasingly difficult time falling asleep at night. The Prozac made this worse! So, after trying Zoloft, Paxil, and Remeron, to no avail, my GP determined that I was “Bipolar” (I had NO idea what this meant, at the time, but in retrospect I was definitely NOT manic-depressive [I’ve done a TON of research, since May, 2002, for reasons you’ll see shortly!]). So, my Doctor put me on 5 pills/day of Lithium-Carbonate, 40mg of Prozac, and 15-30mg/night of Imovane (Zopiclone; a Canadian non-Benzodiazepine Hypnotic, for sleep, which he assured me TWICE was POSITIVELY NON-ADDICTIVE [Yeah, RIGHT!!!]). I was on this regiment for about 7 months, when I realized that I was having a harder and harder time getting to sleep at night, on my Imovane (it got to the point where I took 30mg at night, and was up for about 2 hours after that, before I finally fell asleep!). Not only that, but I felt like absolute CRAP in the mornings (really “Groggy”, kind of a “hungover-type” feeling). So I told my Doctor about this in May, 2002, and he determined that the reason I had built up a tolerance to the Imovane was that I was now in a “hypomanic phase”, and he abruptly told me to quit taking the Imovane and Prozac and, in addition to my Lithium (which I maintain to this day did absolutely NOTHING, except BALLOON me from a “svelte” 130 pounds to a MASSIVE 210. . . in only 6 months!!!), he prescribed 2.5mg/day of Rivotril (Clonazepam).
Well, this stuff nearly DESTROYED me!!! I mean, after I took it, the next day I felt like I was in the DEEPEST sleep of my life (was tired the following days), and I started crying ALL the time (at the LITTLEST things!), got increasingly more anxious, my arms and legs started feeling really “heavy”, and I was really having a hard time thinking, period! In fact, in knocked me out so bad, that after a week I had to start taking “Ionamin” in the mornings JUST TO GET OUT OF BED!!! I was on the Clonazepam for 3 ½ weeks, when I finally DEMANDED to see an ACTUAL Psychiatrist (to determine, once and for all, if I actually WAS Bipolar!), and so that I could get OFF the friggin’ Rivotril!!! So he agreed, and made me an appointment to see a Psychiatrist at the local University in Edmonton (who, incidentally, determined after TWO visits that I was NOT Bipolar; a second Psychiatrist confirmed this!).
But, before I initially saw the first Psychiatrist, I decided that I HAD to get off the Clonazepam (the stuff was RUINING me!!!). So, after 3 ½ weeks, I quit the Clonazepam entirely (I wanted to quit after a WEEK, but my parents, at my GP’s insistence, wouldn’t let me!!!). I also quit the Lithium at this time too. I decided the only thing I would take, until I saw the Psychiatrist (in the middle of June, this was now late-May), was my Imovane (for sleep). So the day after quitting the Clonazepam, I went back on 22.5mg (3 pills)/night of Imovane.
Well, after 2 days. . . I started to get this REALLY weird “feeling in my head” (which I now know, was “Depersonalization”, felt about a “3” [my Psychologist explained to me, this Fall, about the “1-10 Scale” used in talking about Dissociation]). I thought this feeling would just pass, so I didn’t mention it to the Psychiatrist when I saw him (mainly because I would have done ANYTHING not to have to take that Clonazepam!!!).
The Psychiatrist told me on the first visit to quit taking the Imovane “cold turkey”, and he’d see me in three weeks.
I quit the Imovane that night, and the next morning was ABSOLUTE HELL!!!!!!
I felt like I was “electrically charged”, couldn’t think, was EXTREMELY sensitive to light, felt about a “6” (Depersonalization-wise), felt like my eyes had sunk to the back of my head, my muscles (head, neck, biceps, legs) were twitching, I sweated PROFUSELY, and my heart felt like it was going to burst!!! Needless to say, I was EXTREMELY anxious, at this point!!!
But, I was determined to do what the Psychiatrist had told me, so I decided to “tough it out”. . . but I could only go for 7 days, before I ended up going to a clinic BEGGING for Ativan (I had NO knowledge of Benzodiazepines/addiction, at this point, I just thought I was going crazy!!!). The doctor there gave me 3 Ativan tablets (explaining to me that they, too, were addictive [FINALLY, an honest doctor!!!]).
I used one Ativan that night, but the next day, told my dad that I just COULDN’T take it anymore, so he went and got me some more Imovane for the next two weeks.
So, I saw the Psychiatrist again, and told him that I just couldn’t get off the Imovane, and so he told me to SLOWLY taper (1/2 a pill off, every 3 weeks, until I was done). I thought, “well that’ll take me 4 months to get off this crap”, and meanwhile I was still feeling pretty ‘Depersonalized’, apparently from the Clonazepam, so I decided, finally, after about a week of tapering to go “cold turkey” (as he had originally suggested), and see what happens.
So, on July 20, 2002, I quit the Imovane, for GOOD!!!
The next 3 ½ weeks were ABSOLUTE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I honestly thought I was going to die!!!)But, that time passed, and with one week left in August, I was through the “primary withdrawals”.
But what I was left with (mentally) was HORRIBLE!!!
Here’s how I felt, and FEEL, to this day:
- Extreme light sensitivity (which causes me to see “negative- after images” of almost EVERYTHING!!! (By FAR the worst symptom!!!)
- Depersonalization (about a “3-4”, which has lessened to about a “1-2” with Effexor XR, which I’ve been on for about a month)
- Extreme anxiety (had to quit University, TOTALLY unable to think/function at even an ADEQUATE level!)
- Depression (my life has basically been taken from me, all because my Doctor didn’t tell me that Imovane was addictive!)
- Sleep pattern REVERSAL (now, instead of having trouble GETTING to sleep, I get to sleep no problem, but wake up EARLY every night!!!)
- Ears ring constantly, at night
- Muscles (esp. Head & neck) twitch alot
I now have a new Psychiatrist, and he said that initially my REAL problem was “Generalized Anxiety Disorder, with Depression”. But he admits that he’s never heard of these “after images”, and can’t explain all the visual stuff, but says it’s most likely due to either the Clonazepam or the Imovane. Also, I’ve now seen 3 different Psychiatrists, and they’ve ALL said that I am in NO WAY Psychotic, just so you know!He’s starting me on Effexor, as I mentioned, for the GAD & Depression, and so far it’s doing what it should (but isn’t helping the Photophobia/ “after-images”). Also, he made me an appointment with an Opthamologist on February 13th, to make sure it isn’t an eye problem (I told him I know it isn’t, though, because I already saw my Optometrist, and he said my eyes are fine, and even checked for Brain cancer).
My question to you is: Are there ANY possible treatment options for my visual symptoms??? (ie. Light-sensitivity, “after-images”, modest Depersonalization). A Psychiatrist named Dr. David Cohn (in Oakland) I spoke to, on the phone, said to try some anticonvulsants (like Tegretol or Depakote). Do you think this would help??? What about “Gabatril” (Tiagibine)??? Is it addictive, also???
Dr. Cohn said it sounded like I have a “Protracted Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome”, was this because I quit the Rivotril/Imovane “cold turkey”, or was it just the length I was on them???
Would it help if I went back ON, then slowly tapered (for the record, many pharmacologists have told me NOT to do this. . . but I’m in HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(Basically, I’ll try ANYTHING [as long as there is NO habit-forming potential!!!], because my life is basically ruined, at this point, and I’m really losing hope!)
Thanks for ANY comments/suggestions!!!
poster:titleistguy
thread:137422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030119/msgs/137422.html