Posted by proud mary on January 25, 2003, at 10:50:14
In reply to Re: my typical atypical spouse, posted by Theresa Rae on January 24, 2003, at 13:15:19
Theresa, It sounds like you guys have found a good pdoc and are on your way to getting real help.
You can't be expected to know how to deal with a person (especially a man, which every woman knows are different creatures) with a mental illness/chemical imbalance. You guys are doing the right things and it sounds like you are more than good for him--supportive, helpful, caring--so please realize you are doing the right things and do NOT let the situation drag your self esteem through the mud.
When they find the right meds for him and perhaps some therapy (I've had a lot of therapy and recommend it to everyone :>)) things will get better and you guys can begin working on making your marriage joyful again. One word of caution, though...please do not start feeling like you must "do it all" for him. He is part of the equation and he must do things to help himself. Even when I was at my worst mental state, I did what I could to get the help I knew I needed and keep up my part of the bargin such as making my appts., taking my meds, etc.
You should go to a happy movie, take a walk on a beautiful day, treat yourself to a long, hot bath...something...whatever you can to treat yourself and make yourself feel good. You have alot to deal with and you need to treat yourself so you can be the strong one for now. Keep your spirits up...you guys are doing everyting you can do right now.Oh, and I know this is going to sound really out in left field, but if you go to the library and get "Men are from mars, women are from venus" by JOhn Gray, I swear its the closest thing to an owners manual about men I have ever read. I've tried some of his techniques about dealing with men on my husband and it works like a charm and it is just using what gray reveals about how men think, nothing devious or anything like that.
GOOD LUCK...hang in there....keep me posted on how it's going...Mary
poster:proud mary
thread:136888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030125/msgs/137465.html