Posted by KrissyP on March 2, 2003, at 18:08:10
In reply to Re: CAN I KILL LONELINESS? » KrissyP, posted by Katia on March 2, 2003, at 17:24:40
Katia, I am so thankful for YOU! Thank you for such kind, understanding words-it means so much-I sincerely appreciate it. You sound EXACTLY like me in terms of your feelings-and I was going to put the same thing you put-(I am not bad looking either!) *laughing* I'm not either:)
I was just feeling so much when I wrote that, and it summed my life pretty much up.
Today seems to be better- I took only 25mg of Lamictal and the 75mg of Effexor-XR instead of in the morning. I woke up less depressed, and had more energy. I am trying to take the least amount of meds possible to get a balance here-it's a doozie. I'm 6 days, I believe into starting back on the Effexor-XR, I should have wrote it down, but I was such a mess-I just wanted to start it again. Did Effexor not work for you? Just wondering.
Thanks again, all the best,
Kristen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> Your post was beautifully written and expressive. It's good that you can write to express how you are feeling. I am in the same boat you are in - almost exactly. I am also 32 yr. old female, single, no boyfriend,(I am not bad looking either!) no real career yet, not able "to get it together" always looking out at others and how their lives are better than mine and how I wish i could be "normal" feeling VERY lonely and alone in this feeling. One, I think it's the depression, a big part, and two, it's not an easy generation or society to be living in, nor a good time. IT IS TOUGH BEING HUMAN! And what I realize through talking to and reaching out to people is that I'm not so uniquely lonely and feeling like "everyone else has it together". Don't beat yourself up over not joining gyms either, it's a catch 22. When you're feeling depressed, it's hard to get out and be motivated. IF anything at all, have compassion for yourself and know that you are doing the best you can and that is A LOT!
> KATIA
>
> > Hi, My soul hurts tonight-real bad. I feel so empty. I am frustrated and wish my life was just different. I wish I had the courage to meet new people, and fine some balance and just glow with joy. I am feeling like I am self-sabotaging my very own life by not doing things I should be. I want to lose weight-my smoking is getting out of control where my chest is hurting. Is this what my life is going to be like? I can't stop wishing for the good times of my past for the life of me-my soul is so depleted and I don't know how to get it back. As I type, thoughts go through my head about what I need to do to stop feeling this way. The only answers that come to me are a total blank and my heart sinks again. I pray for courage, and pray that I will not be lonely for the rest of my life. I live with chaos around me-I'm 32-but yet when I go out and get a place of my own again, I still think "Will things really be any different?" I have isolated myself and I know I can do better. I wish I had the answers but it seems as if I don't. It seems that I am all talk thinking the life I want will just fall into my lap-maybe I'm a spoiled brat?I just took my 75mg Effexor-XR and 2mg Klonopin-thought I would turn in early tonight because I can't stand this feeling. Did I do something to deserve to feel this way-I probably did. I look at my friends-all either married have kids or are working or both-I am not. I feel like there is a huge hole right where my heart is supposed to be.
> > I just wanted to share this is the real me at this moment, and I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling better. I am so frustrated but it's my own fault. I haven't begun exercise again, and I seem to think that everything is AOK but it's really not-who am I fooling? Kind of a somber post-I am sorry-I just don't know how to fight this.
> > Kristen
>
>
poster:KrissyP
thread:205181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030301/msgs/205338.html