Posted by bookgurl99 on June 1, 2003, at 23:30:50
So, I'm about 2 weeks off meds.
What I've noticed:
+not much withdrawal effects from zoloft after the first week.
+i'm more scared of ghosts at night. this really surprised me. i had always thought of that as a childhood fear that i had outgrown(i came from a superstitious, religious family). but the fear creeps into my mind at night as i head for the bathroom. whether this is from social training or psych. problems i'm not sure, probably a combo of both.
+i'm feeling much less motivated.
i'm spending a lot of time playing on the computer, doing not much. i really dislike this side of myself, having never seen it before.+a realization: i have an aunt who had a very high iq who, due to the loss of a loved one, developed severe depression and became somewhat agoraphobic in her early 20's. she has spent a lot of time since then (the next 25 years) staying at home, not working, and eating very sugary junk foods -- despite eventually developing diabetes.
i am really scared that i'm becoming increasingly like that aunt; with so much potential, yet not realizing it. thinking about the whole thing makes me wonder about the whole dopamine link in my family; how my grandfather drank a lot and how she and i both eat this junk food to feel better. i'm starting to wonder if i _would_ get further along on a dopaminergic med, or if i can energize my brain with natural solutions. i just want to make sure that i consider all solutions, and choose the best. (yes, i'm a perfectionist!)
any comments, suggestions, y'all? thanks so much for being a sounding board; it's hard to run these issues by my family or friends, as they're so invested in _me_ that it's hard for them to accept my taking meds.
poster:bookgurl99
thread:230698
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030530/msgs/230698.html