Posted by vandy on June 11, 2003, at 20:59:46
In reply to Update, posted by pumpkin on June 11, 2003, at 16:49:14
Boy, do you ever tell the truth. Sometimes I feel the same way about street vs. legal drugs. I know I experience bouts of "why can't you just buck up and take it like a person?" I think that's the culture. I've made peace with the meds with the following thought: "I know what to do to end the depression. All that I need do is stand up, elevate my gaze (like look up) and paste a frozen smile on my face. I can't be depressed that way. I doubt that anyone can.
But when I'm in the fog I can't think of doing the above. My mind doesn't seem to permit it. And when I'm really under it, I can't even take the direction from a loved one to go through the motions."
So I use a chemical balancer. It gets my ship closer to level and then I can help myself. The hope is to get off the external stuff. I've done that before and it got me off Paxil. I had no side effects from the Paxil and my support group at the time included a PNurse who was very helpful getting me through the gear up phase; that time when you're taking the meds but it hasn't reached a critical level in your body yet and seems to do nothing.
After that I did better. I did better for about 7 or 8 years after ending the SSRI. You know, even with the experience as positive as it was from before, I still was reluctant to ask for meds and help. I'm sure glad I did. And I grateful for everyone here on this board who've kept up my spirits as I wait for the levels to build. Thank you. I hope I'm passing on the gift you've all given to me.
So hang in there, Pumpkin. Don't sell yourself short by not giving the stuff the necessary time to work for you. And remember the immortal words of Mark Twain, "You wouldn't mind what others thought if you knew how seldom they did."
poster:vandy
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030609/msgs/233303.html