Posted by HenryO on June 26, 2003, at 4:20:31
In reply to Re: Zero Motivation/Thanks Henry, posted by AOB on June 25, 2003, at 9:58:52
As far as an ADD label goes I subscribe to the notion that I was simply "more easily otherwise attracted." As far as paying attention in school I had to devote my energy to more important matters. Imagine you have some kind of fire in your brain i.e. pain, (that you don't realize is not what everybody else is experiencing) you have to devote a fair portion of your resources just to cope. It is like if you had a nasty burn on your hand, you simply can't concentrate, right. Certainly you would be looking for distractions or anything that made you feel better. Sometimes the only route left open is disassociation partial or otherwise. I was not some comatose basket case, I was a rambunctious, disruptive, bright and confused little person. Who grew into a self destructive sad angry addict. I had no more clue as to my motivations than anybody else who dealt with me. That didn't stop them from comming up with theories though. Ultimately my motivation is beside the point. I don't care what my problem is called or what its origins are. I tell people I caught it off a toilet seat. By which I mean knowing is useless.
The solution, now that is interesting to me.
Diets, brain scans, special schools, drugs, punishment, the loss of things I cherished, I suffered all those. I was unhappy and mystified. It is not like your son is enjoying himself. You have to assume he would act differently, IF HE COULD. AA won't kick him out. Just the opposite. It is full of broken people who know what it means to be utterly not in control of themselves. That is how they get there. They will speak his language. He will go if you promise to let him sleep and not berate him for it. Once he is among his own kind, sooner or later he will start to change for the better. It is called assmosis, you bring the body to meetings and something starts to seep in. I have seen many devistated people get better. He may think your nuts. One meeting a day in exchange for a peaceful place to sleep, some food, and as little judgement as you can manage. You will see a miracle. Go to some AA meetings yourself they are harmless enough. You'll hear a speaker or two describe mysterious nonconformity from the earliest age that blossomed into misery. We come in all stripes and flavors but this is a common enough theme. You might want to explore some Alanon meetings too. They may give you some notion as to the thinking of alcoholic/addicts. We are deeply irrational people. You will never be able to understand (one can't understand insanity) but you'll hear from other people who have dealt with similar loved ones. That will help.
poster:HenryO
thread:236674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030624/msgs/237171.html