Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 15:27:47
In reply to Re: to Zinya Susy » zinya, posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 13:30:51
Hi Mercedes and Susy,
thanks for your responses. I didn't want to assume one way or the other but just wanted to make sure that i hadn't come across wrong, and i'm grateful to hear you don't hear me that way. It's not just a potentially ambiguous comment like that but it can sometimes just be something inside me (like if/when no one responds to a post, say) which sometimes makes me a bit paranoid, worried that i've come across too strong or offensive. That 'voice' in me isn't dominant but it *is* there and especially if i'm in a down phase, it can rear its head and make me wonder. I didn't really think Susy meant that -- because heavens you've been so gracious, Susy -- but just wanted to make sure.
Mercedes is right in that sense that i can not be sure or comfortable with how others are perceiving me until much much time has passed. I have a handful of friends who are so precious they are like soulmate sisters (and at times in my life, soulmate brothers too) with whom i have no such qualms, we understand each other implicitly and fully. But i've had many times in my life of being so misunderstood or misrepresented that there is a kernel that lingers of uncertainty.
I totally agree with everything you say, mercedes, and i try to apply that but it is often an 'easier said than done' kind of thing.
Anyway, not wanting to belabor this more than is warranted, but thanking you for your reassurances, both of you. I know that when i write, i tend to write rather "fully" what's in my mind/heart and it makes for posts that i'm sure are too long for some, which is okay, as you say.
{{{{{{hugs back to you both}}}}}}}
> Zinya, regarding the "know about everything" comment Susy made. Take the compliment and run with it girl. One thing that I learned about co-depependents, is that it's hard for us to take compliments because we haven't thought about ourselves in such a long time.
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> Susy, I heard what you meant. Zinya has helped you so much with her knowledge and you were complimenting her. Zinya went the extra mile to help you with the counselor. That's why I included you, Z, in my original post to Susy.
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> Zinya, you don't come accross as a "know it all". The information you provide may be helpful to some and maybe not to others. We have a choice to read it or not to. I happen to read all the posts.....I'm addicted to this site, he he.
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> I personally want to reach into this computer and give you both a big hug. Losing your mom, having to deal with the house, I've been there and I still have boxes to unpack which are still in the garage. I moved last Sept. It's going to be a year and you know what, I'll get to it when I "feel" like it or when I'm "mentally healthy" enough. That's my attitude. Life is too short to waste being critical of ourselves. We've had a lifetime of people criticizing us. At least I have. NO MAS !
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> ((((Hugs)))
> Mercedes
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poster:zinya
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030718/msgs/243974.html