Posted by BarbaraCat on September 14, 2003, at 13:19:24
In reply to Re: Transporting Arvo Part » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on September 14, 2003, at 4:31:41
Thanks for the support on the writing, Katia. I needed that. I've been pecking around on a couple books that are practically writing themselves and still, I can't seem to find the focus to just sit down and do it. It seems overwhelming at this point, all those characters and story lines, and I tend to distract when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Not that writing here is counterproductive in any way. Writing in general, especially here and in my journal, is so much more helpful to me than a therapist. I can gather my thoughts together instead of having to explain the same old story yet another time for someone else to therapize. All that stuff about not being listened to and feeling powerless as a child doesn't apply when I'm writing, even if I'm the only one listening. So, I will go to Amazon.com today and order the "Arvo Part" CD and I promise to sit down at my laptop and work on my book.
About the D, I've promised to limit myself to moderatation only on the weekends and major holidays. I'm finding that takes the pressure off and it's something I can commit to and live with. The discomfort of the 'next day' always strengthens my resolve to figure out a way to limit the number and size of those glasses of the stuff! As long as it's not wine, it's in moderation and I'm in bed before 1:00, I'm fine the next day.
Here's a question for you. I know we were in the midst of an intense couple of posts but I didn't realize anything was wrong. Was it because some time elapsed before I was able to respond? My husband had a double hernia operation and I was busy taking care of him so I fell behind on my posts, but what was it that upset or hurt you? This is not to criticize you at all, it just surprised me that you were obviously upset and it would help me to know if there's anything I need to be aware of in myself? The idea of my causing a friend pain isn't OK with me and something I did seemed to bring up some deep pain for you. But as we're discovering about projection, this is probably something else besides what you or I do here and now. So you wanna continue with our self- realization exploration? I think it's fascinating and very enlightening, and Dr. Bob will probably redirect us. - Barb
PS, Have you read "The Four Agreements", by Don Miguel Ruiz? Another great book I keep coming back to. If I could only keep just ONE of those four agreements for even 1 day...
> Barb,
> I just have to exhale because you responded to me. I'll read your post tomorrow in more detail. What I can respond to right now...
>
> >What kind of music is it?
> The best you can imagine. B/c when you imagine the thoughts coming to you -- they are simply within a backdrop of this beautiful man's music. *tear drop*.
>
> Tolles's stuff. Amazingly enough, when I was in a suicidal depression last year, unable to sleep, sitting up in bed holding my head, crawling sobbing and drooling on the floor to the bathroom to stare at me in the mirror, bags and wrinkles and I'M SO SAD!!!; I'd put his tape on. At 4 am I'd listen to him and again at 8 before I walked and walked for miles in the forest. breathing and trying to "be here now". It did help. really. There's just such a story behind that w/ me. and I partook in too many glasses of d. I feel sick!
> thanks for responding Barb. I needed that.
> I'll respond tomorrow. and there's nothing you should be doing with your energy BUT JUST writing.
> I might just cut you off and force you to channel your writing energies into something else. Not that I don't love to hear from you!!!!
> Love,
> KAtia
>
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030912/msgs/259925.html