Posted by Dr. Bob on October 9, 2003, at 19:17:02
In reply to feeling lost « john26, posted by Dr. Bob on October 8, 2003, at 16:56:44
[Posted by deirdrehbrt on October 9, 2003, at 18:39:46]
> Hi John,
> It is so hard to help someone when they feel they haven't any hope. I've been there before. There are times still when I feel like I don't want to do it anymore.
> Therapy is really hard work. Meds have so many side effects. No med can make you feel actually fine, you have to work really hard for every little step. Sometimes it really feels like I want to call it quits.
> So, what keeps me going? My kids, whom I love fiercely. I have one friend who knows what is going on in my life, and I thank God, or whoever is there for her. She doesn't let me quit. She tag-teams with one of my alters to try to keep me in check.
> What is in the way? I have a family who has no idea how sick I really am. They refuse to accept the life changes that I have needed to make. They will never beileve how hurt I was by the abuse I suffered. Even the X-rays of my broken bones are dismissed.
> Well, I want my life. That's what it takes. Sometimes, when I've been in the pits, I needed some time in the hospital. My friend had a hand in that more than once. In my case, when I saw no way out, I found a stay in a hospital helpfull. Not all hospitals are alike, and there are some that I definitely want to stay away from.
> I'm wondering if you think that you could talk to your wife about a hospital stay. If she is doing so badly that she can't get out of the hole, it might really help.
> Not every hospital is the same. Some are there for people who, like your wife, have significant issues, but who with a little help can get to a place where they realize that life is really worth living. Others though, like most state hospitals are for people who have deeper problems, may be somewhat violent at times, and need medication adjustments more than encouragement. Other people are treated here, but some of the more violent people can really scare some of us who have been victims of violence. The hospitals do deal with violent behavior really well, but having it happen around you can be really troubling.
> Please don't think that I am characterizing state hospitals as being full of violence, they aren't. I'm just saying that it is more likely to occur there than in a private hospital.
> I am also not saying that your wife should be in a hospital, but that if you and she thought that it could help, it might be worthwhile. Be sure to check out a hospital if you can, so that she would feel comfortable there. It's amazing the difference that such a stay can make. Just having the opportunity to isolate from the day-to-day worries of living, and to be able to focus on what is really troubling you makes a huge difference.
> Again, I'm not saying that I think a hospital is the best choice for her. It is something to speak to her therapist about, and to discuss between you and her.
> I really hope that she starts getting better. You sound like a very fine husband; not every man even notice when their wives are having troubles. Your wife is very fortunate. I hope for the two of you, that she gets the help she needs.
> Dee.
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:266860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031004/msgs/267466.html