Posted by Little Monkey on October 13, 2003, at 13:59:34
I was diagnosed with dysthymic disorder earlier this year by a psychotherapist whom I now see regularly. I have been through trial periods of Zoloft, Lexapro and Wellbutrin this year each with side effects and/or didn't work. I have been on Effexor XR 75 for about 4 months with some progress. I also have sleeping difficulties which were further enhanced (apparently) by the Effexor so I am also taking Ambien 10 mg nightly. (3 months so far)
After two months or so of feeling that Effexor was helping me, I started to periodically fall back into depressive type of episodes - oversensitivity of feelings, mood swings, anger, crying, etc. - normally well hidden but painful none the less. I am gaining weight because I can't stop feeling hungry. I have once again gone back to personality swings from being very passive and childlike to very judgemental and agressive. Then, two weeks ago, I quit my job of over two years on the spot because of a comment my immediate boss said to me and came home.
To make a long story somewhat shorter, I think that my Effexor may not been working as well as it used to, especially with the added stress of now being unemployed. My prescription bills are through the roof and doctor's visits are the same. Over the past week or so I have occasionally forgotten to take my medicine (which I have never done in the past) and have been experiencing increasing mood swings, crying spells, extreme dizziness and no energy. I seem to be "slowing down" in nearly everything I do. My motivation level is less than normal, further decreasing my ability to push myself to find a new job.
The added problem is that I have no money and my insurance switch-over means that I will have to pay out of my pocket for a month or so until they reimburse me. I don't have the $250 for my meds (which are now running out), the $260 insurance payment and the $125 doctor visit fee to even get me through this month.
I feel like I am in a never ending cycle. I am only 27 years old and I am having difficulty finding anything that makes me happy anymore. I can't seem to escape long enough to catch my breath. I find myself more and more wishing I could just be thrown in a hospital so that I can find some kind of help in stabilizing my mind. I think the recently added stress load is contributing to me seeing things (such as things moving, images of people in my house, etc.) and vivid, disturbing dreams. I have also had more than one occasion of hearing people whisper to me when there was no one there.
My question is this: Where do I go from here? With no money, no close friends/family to talk to (except my fiance), and my emotional status spiraling down faster than I can handle, what do I do? Do I have any options left before things get any worse?
I appreciate all of your help and have (unfortunately) found comfort in reading posts of others because it helps me know that I am not alone.
poster:Little Monkey
thread:268975
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031010/msgs/268975.html