Posted by RubyCash on October 27, 2003, at 15:48:36
Hello, I'm having "issues" that are disabling my attempts to get well.
It seems like I have always had depression and some form of anxiety, at least since I was 12 or so, but just recently the depression had gotten "out of hand" and really started affecting my personal life so I went ahead and did a medical research study pitting placebos and Paxil against a mystery medication in order to do it's final test phases before it was approved for general use. I should have known better.
In the second week I suffered my very first panic attack, which pretty much put my paralyzing anxiety attacks to shame as I thought I was about to die from some sort of allergic reaction to the medication or a heart attack.
Needless to say I had a few more less severe but just as frightening panic attacks after leaving the study, and now I would say that I have an upgraded anxiety condition due to the fact that the episode put me in fear of the following:
ANY stimulants, meaning caffiene, sugar (even fruit sugar or small pieces of candy) Drinks that may have alternative stimulants in them such as ginseng or guarana...
I'm also afraid to take vitamins in case there is a link to whatever is in them and my anxiety.
Any situation which might spike my anxiety, such as haunted houses (it's almost halloween and that's one of my favorite things)Movies that contain drug use also trigger my anxiety.
I'm also avoiding alcohol because "feeling out of control" sometimes makes me anxious, and hang overs the next day make me very anxiety riddled.
I know alot if not all of this is in my head, but sitting here knowing it isn't making any difference.
I am currently avoiding taking my new prescription. I went in to a clinic at my bf's behest and was prescribed Zoloft and ativan.
The psychiatrist was very patronizing which sort of fostered a lack of trust, and then he told me the zoloft would give me anxiety in the first couple of weeks and that was why he was prescribing the ativan.
I have had ativan before so I went ahead and took half a pill the night before I intended to take the Zoloft as he suggested, but I can't get myself to take the Zoloft without freaking myself out.
It's been three nights of taking the ativan and failing to take the zoloft.
I'm considering hypnotherapy because I am crippling my own chances of ever getting out of this awful place.
Any pointers?
poster:RubyCash
thread:273993
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031025/msgs/273993.html