Posted by fluffy on November 14, 2003, at 16:52:25
In reply to Not doing too well :-( » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on November 14, 2003, at 15:08:37
Katia!!!
> Good to hear you back Barb!
> If Ambien is not a tranquilizer, what is it? A sleep aid? then what are sleep aids? How do they differ?***I'm not sure, but I think Ambien is similar to a benzo. Most "sleep aids" are benzos, besides Benadryl, trazodone, melatonin.
Or maybe I just need to put a gun to my head and end this miserable incompetent existence????
Katia--You know that's not the answer, but I totally know the feeling. You are exhausted with the cycling and endless searching and not feeling well. Most of us know about this. Seriously, if you are thinking about this too much, CALL THE DOCTOR. Or if you feel you might be in danger, then GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. I seriously pondered this a month ago when I was ruminating about suicide badly. I knew I didn't want to do it, but I wanted OUT. And I hesitated, but I called my pdoc, and we scheduled an emergency appt.
> How did that store manager know about your depression? Did you tell him in confidence, or did he just pick up instantly what it was? You know when you meet people like that, it makes things sooo much easier.
***Have you considered joining a support group? I've thought about it, but I have a long time friend who got diagnosed a couple of years before me. And what do you know??? I go diagnosed soon after. She has been indisposable to me b/c of her understanding. These people are hard to find. Truth be told, most people (even good friends) cannot understand what it's like to be bipolar or clinically depressed. Friends try the best they can to understand, and sometimes they feel that boiling what you feel down to what other people feel would make you feel less awkward and isolated. But it can make you feel misunderstood, and these statements can backfire.
> Thank god, I had that appt. with the psychic. If she hadn't told me that until January will be the hardest (chipping old paint of my wall), getting out of the woods, I don't know if I could hang on without that faith. I'm so tired. and I tell you, quitting drinking has made NOTHING better. I can't believe I haven't drunk yet.
> I'm at 100mg of Lam. felt better for a few days and am crashing again. Just want a glass of wine to even this mixed state (best I can describe it) out. no, make that a bottle with a couple cigs.**Could you deal with just a pack of cigarettes? It sounds like a weird suggestion, but I know that for me, my smoking habit has "saved" me, for lack of nothing else to do but pace. When I feel bad, I just smoke, smoke, smoke. I know it's a bad habit, but boy--if you ever go to an AA meeting, those people are CHAIN SMOKERS. It's the lesser of two evils.
Drinking is EVIL when you're depressed---EVIL!!!> Does it ever get better? I'm sorry but it feels like everyone on this board is continually struggling and cycling and not remaining stable. most of all me. I need to have hope and hear success stories.
***Katia--I'm a success story, and not very long ago, I was in a similar boat as yours. It took a very long time, but I've finally found equilibrium. Most of the people on this board are ON this board because they are UNHAPPY with their drug combos and/or diagnosis. They are searching just like you to find answers. Finding the success stories may seem daunting, but they are out there, and they just aren't posting to boards like this per se. Again, I think a support group would be a good place to find these people who understand, and who have fought through this. I'm thinking of finding one soon.
> Maybe I'll start the Lithium Orotate first. You didn't have good success on that did you? I can get it cheaply I think. I'll look up the prices later. Maybe Neuronto., Lam. and Lithium will be the combo for me? god, I wish someone would just DO something with this blackeyed carcass. I'm sick of taking the lead. I look like hell, like I haven't slept in years, but I have.
***I don't REALLY know about this Lithium orotate business, but it seems to be a racket. I almost get angry about the ads, as they seem to be preying on people who are desperate to take ANYTHING besides REAL LITHIUM. It's not really Lithium...there's just a smidge in it. I would really try to give the REAL DEAL lithium a go first before you sink your hard-earned money into alternative treatments. It's tried and true. I don't know your situation exactly, but for most people, Lamictal as a sole agent is only partially effective. Why not try Lithium+Lamictal? Or Trileptal+Lamictal?
> I'm not in a good space. Sorry for the rant and thanks for hearing it.
> katia***Sweetie, we've all been there. Rant anytime. You can count on me to be here, okay? I care about you. Hang on tight...
lots and lots of hugs...
Katy
poster:fluffy
thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031111/msgs/279804.html