Posted by ratgrrl on November 25, 2003, at 22:40:34
In reply to Re: How Do you PRETEND PRETEND PRETEND to be OKAY?, posted by Waterlily on November 25, 2003, at 8:59:50
I don't pretend. I'm lucky not to have to. I am a grad student. I can't tell you how happy I was to get to grad school and get an office with a door and officemates who know and understand. If I can just keep from crying/freaking out long enough to get to my office and close the door, the damage is minimal.
I'm also lucky to be in a field (mathematics) where pretty much everyone is a little off. My academic advisor has similar uncontrollable emotional overreactions to me, and she is tremendously successful and famous in our field. It gives me hope that I can actually get somewhere even though I'm a little (a lot?) off some of the time.
I shouldn't make it sound like it's easy though. With every new professor or student I work with, I have to decide how much to disclose and most likely they will see me overreact to something or get manic and then I have to "mop up" so to speak. I still worry about being "too crazy" and losing the respect of my professors and peers. On average though, for me in my particular situation, I think its easier to be open than to expend the amount of energy necessary to pretend to be fine.
--ratgrrl
poster:ratgrrl
thread:283224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031121/msgs/283867.html