Posted by socialdeviantjeff on December 22, 2003, at 2:47:28
Ok, here's my situation. For the past several months I've been on and off several drugs. The side-effects with all have been horrendous. It's like having a chronic illness. Right now, I take 150 mg Effexor, 300 mg Tegretol and 2 mg Perphenezine. I can only work part time. For two months I feel like I've had the flu. Cognitive problems, IBS, twitches, asomnia (circadian rhythm sleep disorder - delayed phase type), fatigue with a capital F, lightheaedness, complete and total lack of pleasure, irritability, dysphoria, you name it. I feel like the walking dead.
Despite this, there has been some benefit. Less suicidal ideation, less generalized anxiety, less anger in traffic, less guilt. But really on a scale of 1 to ten , these improvements are a 1 or 2, 3 on a good day.
My dx's are refractory psychotic depression, dysthemia, paranoid personality, Generalized anxiety Disorder, OCD.
I've bee on and reasons for discontinuing:
Ritalin (from 6 until 14)
Paxil-did nothing
Zoloft-did nothing
Amitryptaline & Desimpramine-made me psychotic
Wellbutrin-Allergic reaction
Prozac-Allergic Reaction
Neurontin-Allergic reaction
Lexapro-Side Effects
Lithium-Side EffectsMany of these tried in various combos.
I'm really beginning to wonder if this "walking dead" state is worth the minimal benefit I'm receiving. It has been this way with almost every med. It seems to be a trade-off. I could be miserable and dysfunctional one way or the other. If I keep meds, I'll lose a lot on the way of being active, having pleasure, etc. If I dump meds, I could very well wind up suicidal and the overal emotional situation would be quite bad.
FYI, Ive spent many a year with psychologists since age 6 to no avail.
Opinions welcome. TIA
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:292281
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031219/msgs/292281.html