Posted by Lyrical13 on December 30, 2003, at 7:53:51
In reply to Re: Heh Max,............... » Jaynee, posted by mom_cheeks on December 29, 2003, at 18:49:39
It's so comforting and such a relief to read people's posts and see the same thoughts, same experiences...Looking at myself and my past behaviour..I was always "shy" and never knew what to say to people..often the "observer" though I would put in my 2 cents when I wanted to. Now I wonder if social anxiety is part of my brain chemical mess. For me though, I spent years in couseling trying to do it with tx alone. If I just tried hard enough and thought positive enough I thought I would be OK. And when I wasn't I was beating myself up because I wasn't "good" at getting better. I was very resistive to trying meds. My mom tried to get me on meds back in the early 90s (she's an RN... I resented her trying to "fix" me all the while saying I was co-dependent. She was right...I was and have come a long way...but the thing is... she is too!!!! Isn't that the definition of co-dependency? Focusing on the other person and their problems and trying to "fix" them?!!!!!) Anyway, I tried a couple different meds then and was more miserable on them than I was off so I quit taking them. It wasn't until about 1996 and I was in grad school and having a LOT of difficulty that I finally, very reluctantly and with much fear tried an AD. My endocrinologist referred me to a pdoc. She said I did have blood sugar problems but she thought there was a brain chemical thing going on as well. She was right. It was amazing how much "better" I got at recovery with the help of medical science. Better living through chemistry! My new motto. But I don't go into meds blindly either. I research them all before I start on any of them. Ask the pdoc a lot of questions..am very cautious. Maybe there's a little paranoia...but I'd rather be paranoid and have my eyes wide open going into it than to just pop a pill blindly and be majorly messed up.
With the help of the meds, I am able to take a hard look at myself and the things I do that perpetuate my misery. I get better and better all the time..it's been a lot of hard work but it's worth it.
Best of luck to everyone!
PS I don't remember if this was in the post I was replying to or in one of the others I read just before it...someone mentioned talking to people in the grocery line, etc. I felt like I could have written that whole paragraph..my experiences exactly!
L13
poster:Lyrical13
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031225/msgs/294619.html