Posted by blondemomints on January 21, 2004, at 17:25:34
In reply to Re: Help dealing with my husbands depression, posted by HappyGirl on January 21, 2004, at 15:28:23
Not only are you in the throws of early marriage which is by no means easy, you are also dealing with a man who is sick. Please don't take offense to anything I am about to type. It's not meant to be defensive, I am only speaking from personal experience.
Having dealt with depression & mood swings for nearly 22 years myself, I can tell you first hand that unless you've experienced this yourself, you will never be able to fully understand the magnitude of what your husband is dealing with inside his own mind. Do you honestly think he wants to be angry or depressed? None of us choose our emotions, it's like we are being controlled by an alien or a force stronger than anything you can imagine. It's hard to explain, I'm sorry my words aren't clearer.
I totally agree with what Happygirl said. You both have to find the right doctor (preferably psychiatrist who is patient and understanding) who is willing to work with your husband to find the right meds. There are so many out there, it can take years and a number of combinations to find what is best for him. Each person is different, we all react to meds differently.
I think you and your husband would benefit from joint therapy as well. You will have a better understanding about how he truly feels once he feels "safe" to open up & express what he really feels inside his heart. Thank God I have a husband of nearly 20 years who has stood by me through all of my mental problems and agreed to go to therapy with me to have a better understanding of my mind. And in the process he found out that he's not perfect either and had his own issues to work through. It's helped us tremendously!
If you truly love him, you will stand with him and help him. Sometimes our minds will not *allow* us to ask for help, we can be stubborn and think nothing is wrong....please don't give up. He needs help & support. God Bless You Both, this is not an easy journey but there is light, have patience, faith & hang in there....
poster:blondemomints
thread:303797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040118/msgs/303857.html