Posted by holymama on February 1, 2004, at 20:52:28
In reply to Re: I'm probably going against my pdoc's advice... » holymama, posted by sac on February 1, 2004, at 20:35:17
Hi sac.
Yes, it sounds pretty similar to me. I've only been dealing with meds for about the last 9 months, and although I am not totally stable, I am am feeling much better. I am a HORRIBLE mother when depressed and a useless, out-there mother when hypomanic. It's hard to find the happy middle. :) I feel like a drug addict sometimes, like I need my drugs to preserve this perfectly happy state of mind. But then I remind myself that eithout drugs I am a weepy, suicidal, non-functioning MESS and I am of no use to my children.
I too am struggling with the bipolar diagnosis. I wonder if I am 'bipolar' -- if I should call myslef that, since I am not 100% sure that I was ever manic pre-drugs. I have heard that antidepressants may trigger mania in people who never had it previously and I wonder if I would get manic now if I went off al drugs. I think the antidepressants are a blessing and a curse. Treating the antidepressant's side effects (mania) with another drug (a mood stabilizer). What a mess. But I do feel much better most days.
And when it comes down to it, no matter what I choose to call myself -- bipolar, manic-depressive, depressive, moody, crazy...I need to take a mood stabilizer if I want to take an antidepressant. And I consider my antidepressant a medical necessity. I think without it I could be dead, or in a hospital right now.
Good luck to you. Let me know how the med search goes for you. I hate hearing about a mother struggling the way that I was. :)
poster:holymama
thread:305962
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040131/msgs/308312.html