Posted by sexylexy on February 6, 2004, at 19:54:51
In reply to Life after depression., posted by Jukesy on February 4, 2004, at 6:42:18
Chris,
Though this board is about medication I thought I would respond. I am a 24 year old female. For all my life I have been "the strong one" had 4 major events in my life which could have easily brought on depression, no one in my family has depression.
I moved away last year to go to graduate school in a state 9 hours away from my home friends and family. I was in school full time and working a 20 hour internship in a critical care unit with paitents dying on a daily basis. The year went off without a hitch, I adapted great.
This year I came back to school again leaving friends, family, boyfriend ect. I had also started taking the birth control pill the month before I left. Before I came back to school I started feeling very irritable and sad. When I moved back to school I became extremely emotional, terrible mood swings, crying all the time ( I am NOT a cryer). I did not want to hang out with my friends or do anything. I had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.
I kept saying that I was homesick and missing my boyfriend (who is in law school which makes the long distance thing even harder). I finally booked a flight home and thought everything would get better.
When I returned home for a weeks stay, things got much worse because they did not get better. I came very close to breaking up with my boyfriend for no reason. I was crying non stop, sobbing uncontrolably. I could not understand why there were two "voices" in my head, one which I recognized as my normal thought processes and a new one which was extremely negitiave (which I call the depressive voice) these two began a constant battle and the depressive voice seemed to becoming stronger and stronger.
Finally my father suggested asked me about all the medication I was on , at the time it was the birth control pill and vitamins. He looked up the birth control I was on and one of the possible side effects was severe depression.
That day I stopped taking the birth control. Within 24 hours I was a new person, the depressive voice was gone and my head felt clear and happy. I went back to school feeling happy and free. I was fine for about 10 days when a friend of mine un-expectedly died. It was like at the first sign of sadness my body was terrified to become depressed. I was so anxious I could hardly stand, I booked another flight home for the weekend so I could go see a psychiatrist to see what was going on. The Dr. said that I had a phobia of depression and needed to get on medication to "forget" how to be depressed. She gave me Zoloft. I stayed at home for a long weekend and began feeling much better so I stayed off the medication.
Again I went back to school and for 21 days I was fine, then my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight (we NEVER fight and I could not believe he would be so un kind). Anyway, again the fear of sadness came back this time was MUCH worse. I could not pull out of it, I began taking the Zoloft and took it for close to a month. It was absolute hell for me, then I went to an internal medicine Dr. who took my blood ect and decided that again, my body needed to forget depression. So now I am on week 6 1/2 of 10 mg of lexapro. I am begining to feel better but am waiting to feel like me again.
So sorry to be so long winded but I would love help if you are able to help!
Thanks,
Lexy
poster:sexylexy
thread:309199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040204/msgs/310319.html