Posted by crazychickuk on February 15, 2004, at 13:29:30
...........I am kind of p**** off cus i am at a loss, i am typing this on my kind of good day, bad days i cant be bothered, dont care etc.. so here goes..
As some of you may know i havent had any luck with ssri's (raised bp and hrt rate) trylics (made me feel as if i am dying,panick reaction) snri made me way to manic....
I am currently taking 30mg rem have been for 10mnths, i did go up o 45 but didnt like it, so i am bk to 30mg. ALONEI have self diagnosed myself with bp2 and with some help from some of you, i am currently waiting to see a pysciatrist, been 10mnths so far, (uk-nhs) so i am stuck with my doctor at present gp..
Lately i been getting more depressed than ever, all this started out with mild depression 4 yrs ago, so i was on effexor(35mg so low, as i only had mildest of mild depression due to baby blues), then i abused it by taking 5 times as much to just be high like my friends partying etc i also smoked aloud of grassthen too... i got my first anxiety attack that night, was told to stop the effexer cold turkey so i did, braain zaps etc were bad but i was ok, I also stopped smoking pot too, and been suffering ever since, 3 years on with the anxiety/panick attacks.. NOW depression is alot worse ..
I used to get so manic to the point where i couldnt sit down, i couldnt relax around ppl, i always thought i was taking extasy or something (obsessed) thats how i fealt so high... The Remeron has so slowed me down, where i dont get like that any more, BUT..
...I am now at that point where i am getting deeper and deeper into depression to the point where i am suicadal, ( i dont tink i would do it as i have a 4 yr old with no dad, and i would be to afraid of going to hell) .... I am still getting panick attacks, worse when i am out and about, not so bad in the house but i still get them when i am at home. i am now completely aragrophobic, my doctor is at a loss with me cus the drugs he knows havent helped me they react badly to me, doctors dont know much about mental health he admitted that to me, and thats why i been told to wait till i see pysciatrist, so i am BUT what can i ask for? I am so at a loss..
My manic episodes now turn into moods, and i get horrible thoughts when my dauhter is naughty its awfull, so my moods i want to concentrate on the most, and my depression and my panick attacks, and cus of all that i am obsessing about health issues as you all know.. plse HELP? plse?
Thanx glad to of got all that of my chest..
Your friend Donna xx
poster:crazychickuk
thread:313613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040215/msgs/313613.html