Posted by confusedeeyore on March 19, 2004, at 0:25:12
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by blueeye on January 26, 2004, at 22:37:40
I have been experiencing Depersonalization/derealization for close to 15 years now. I am now 30, so this is half my life. It seems to have gotten much worse over time and recently has gotten much worse.I find myself thinking of suicide to remove me from this pain. I cannot experience anything and sometimes get lost in places I have been going to for years as I forget where I am.My bills go unpaid and this adds stress to my life as does my inability to sleep. I have used sleeping pills every night for 2.5 years (Diphenhydramine hydrochloride) and wonder if this has made my problem worse. As I write this, I am having a panic attack about how I feel. I was smoking a small amount of marijuana every night (1-2 "hits") to help me sleep for a while until it started causing me panic attacks.I started using it when I was 29 and quit shortly after my 30th birthday ( I used maybe 1/4 oz in my entire life). I used to love working on my cars and this kept my mind off it, but now I am so tired and completely lacking in the ability to enjoy it that I no longer can even do basic maintenance on them. I have been on anti depressants (Celexa, Wellbutrin, Paxil) but they do not help and in some cases made it worse! I shelled out $500 of my own money to have a series of tests from my doctor, but they came up negative.He told me I was depressed, but after months on expensive meds( I am poor and have no insurance ) they did nothing to help me, so I stopped using them.I work a menial job because it does not require much of me despite being very intelligent. What kind of doctor should I try? Endocrinologist? Psychyatrist? General Practicioner? should I have myself comitted? Please! If anyone has a solution or something to tell my doctor, please tell me!
poster:confusedeeyore
thread:8172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040313/msgs/325917.html