Posted by Ame Sans Vie on August 6, 2004, at 17:34:23
In reply to Re: Is there medicine for this disease?, posted by sb417 on August 6, 2004, at 16:27:05
> What is it about stepfathers? I know of several stepfathers who have NPD.
lol, I so agree! It must be in some highly confidential "stepparenting handbook" I have yet to learn about.
> And perhaps more important, what does this say about our mothers that they would be attracted to this sort of person?
*Very* good point. But, in my mother's defense <g>, when they met he was nice as could be. Trying to win over my sister and me, assumably, as well as attempting to make this marriage work after five failed ones. But after about a year, he became downright nasty, overly opinionated, and constantly threw in all our faces that, "I'm the master of this house. You don't like it, get the hell out." (my mom finally called his bluff on that a couple years ago and we moved into a house she owned just a couple blocks away, lol; we ended up moving back a year later due to his declining health.)
In my *stepfather's* defense, he was a very unhealthy soul indeed. When he and my mother married in October '95, he was 53 and she was 37; my sister was 6 at the time and I was 12. He already had insulin-dependent diabetes, was losing his eyesight to macular degeneration, and was carrying 350 pounds around on a six-foot frame, so he had trouble getting around. As his physical health declined, his NPD escalated to the point of being unbearable. But my mother cared for him far too much to divorce him -- even when we lived a couple blocks away, she spent EVERY DAY, at least twelve hours a day, over there taking care of him.
Starting a few months before he passed away, he became very complacent; we took this as a good sign, though in retrospect, it must have been because he realized he didn't have much time left. I remember Thanksgiving dinner in '03, 2 1/2 months before he died -- he said grace and gave thanks for, "my wonderful family"... something we'd never heard before. Then he burst out in tears.
He was perfectly fine until Feb. 4 this year when he began having trouble breathing. At that point, his blood sugar was practically uncontrollable even with the insulin, always hovering around 400. He was a veritable pharmacy, taking Coreg, bumetanide, Lasix, Klor-Con, alprazolam, zestoretic, Levo-Dromoran, and about a dozen others I can't recall. He smoked five packs a day since he was 13. His eyesight was almost nonexistent, he could no longer walk at all, he was incontinent, he had cheated death four times at the hospital with severe systemic infections, he had congestive heart failure, pulmonary edema, and was about to lose his legs to a severe infection and edema that required intensive at-home therapy with Silvadine, constant replacing of bandages, and frequent trips to the doctor for debriding. He was always the stubborn type, so refused to wear the lymphedema boots they gave him, or even to keep his legs elevated. So he went into the hospital Feb. 4, and we were worried, but figured he had cheated death so many other times that there may be a chance. No such luck -- he had pneumonia, his kidneys shut down on Feb. 6, and on Feb. 7 the hospital called us and asked if we wanted him put on a ventilator. My mother agreed to it because he had told her in the past that his biggest fear was not being able to breathe. Then they told us we should hurry to the hospital immediately as there was no telling how much time he had. He passed away an hour after being placed on the ventilator.
Sorry for the above digression, by the way... back on topic now...
> I've read that patients with NPD are very difficult to treat. I think psychotherapy is probably the only hope; however, in a few of the people I've known with NPD, certain traits, such as arrogance and grandiosity, overlap with symptoms of the manic phase of bipolar disorder.
Psychotherapy certainly seems the only real option for most patients... though, as my stepdad illustrated, realization of one's own mortality can work as well.
Now that I think about it, your allusion to manic behavior does make sense, and perhaps a mood stabilizing drug could provide benefit. I'd personally think antipsychotics with mood-stabilizing properties (or the olanzapine/fluoxetine combo, Symbyax) could work well, as neuroleptics seem to assist in the treatment of many other personality disorders. I feel psychotherapy should be stressed though, even when psychotropics are being taken.
~Michael
poster:Ame Sans Vie
thread:374637
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040805/msgs/374830.html