Posted by ace on September 3, 2004, at 23:32:18
In reply to Re: Thanks all - I'm done., posted by jerrympls on September 3, 2004, at 19:33:21
> You all have brought tears to my eyes.....you have posted such from-the-heart words I'm somewhat speechless. I never thought anyone would even care about my post.
I am never suprised about the warmth and downright caring of the people on this board. They give me goosebumps at times. I so much wish to meet some of these folk...i have posted on other boards unrelated to mental health, and the contrast is striking- the warmth here transcends all dating/music etc etc forums
I mean, my parents haven't even called or responded.Ultimately we are alone, but I'm really upset about that. Man, your life is precious, you are a gift to them.
>
> I've been so full of anger...I have a job and have frustrated my supervisors to no end with absences, etc. They are trying to be accommodating, but I've been forever deemed "unreliable."Yeah right. How about they step in your shoes and feel your pain? They would be preety unreliable too. have you explained to them your illness in detail?
I have a counselor through our Disability Services office and he helps a lot.That's great, and see them as MUCH as possible Jerry.
But our Chief of Staff has told me "I have no sympathy for you....but we'll try to accommodate your disability."
That's very cold-hearted. Try not be angry with her. Try and see, she is coming from a point of IGNORANCE.
She used to talk to me and joke and laugh - now she ignores me and talks to other managers about me behind my back. I've found proof that others below me have received monetary merit awards and pay increases - whereas I have recieved one slight pay increase in the 3 years I've worked there.
>
> I also found out that some of my fellow co-workers have been asking my manager why I'm out so much and if I'm getting special treatment.You DESERVE SPECIAL TREATMENT! and you shouldn't be ashamed of that. I'm sure if you had a broken leg they would give you special treatment. But, no, because it's mental illness it is deemed less important. That upsets me and is typical of a lot of folk.
FORTUNATELY my manager is a GREAT guy and beats them off with a stick.
Hang around this dude As much as possible.
but to know that people are talking about you behind your back and then acting all friendly to my face - it's disgusting and angers me to no end.
Jerry- tell them where to go! Who the heck do these clowns think they are? call em straight out- TWO_FACED!
> What set me off was that my chief of staff wants to put me in a position where I wouldn't be relied upon....in a corner doing data entry or something - whereas now I'm head of IT support for our dept. She basically wants me out of sight and out of mind.1. Your health is of more concern now.
2. Clean up these matters once your recovered.
3. Try hard not too feel anger...a book, the only self-help book, that I like is "Love is letting go of fear" by Jampolsky. It is so great....try and see these people as coming from fear, and they need more love.
>
> She's horribly passive-agressive and unapproachable. I never thought I would feel such hate towards a person...Try as hard not to feel hate...it will each you up!
I'm not like that...but I thought when I disclosed to her about my illness that she would be an advocate - she even disclosed that she has an anxiety disorder and her sister has treatment-resistant depression!!!!
>
> On top of that, my only two friends stopped calling/returning calls/emails a year ago - they just stopped. They were very cool and understanding about my illness and then turned their back on me.
>
> So I live a solitary life. Alone...angry..frustrated...with nothing to look forward to. Yes, I do have a wonderful therapist who I am now going to start seeing twice a week. But still...so much anger in me....so much
>
> How do I stop the anger? How do I leave work AT work? How?1. Try that book I mentioned
2. get back onto a good med combo
3. If possible, take a vacation from work
4. every day, treat yourself to something you enjoy- ie sittting down in the city checking out all the hot girls!! (sometimes works for me, the dirty little ACE!)>
> Please answer...
>
> Thank you all
>
> JerryGod Bless you mate, you have my full support and blessings...you hang on tight, you are a brave soldier and will never give in...you have more to give this world
Ace
poster:ace
thread:385815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040830/msgs/386232.html