Posted by Racer on September 7, 2004, at 15:44:08
In reply to Re: what is Milnacipran?, posted by SLS on September 7, 2004, at 13:09:05
I'm at 60, since last Thursday. Today I'm jumping out of my skin again, but still can't seem to *do* anything much. That's still an improvement over the weekend, though: I spent most of it either asleep or just immobilized on the sofa. No real energy -- beyond the agitation -- no motivation, no ability to follow through, and for most of the weekend I just didn't feel as if living was worth it.
Again, this is still adjustment phase, which I know, but unless things start to show signs of turning around very soon -- like less restlessness and jitteriness, and less sedation and amotivation -- I'm not all that hopeful about it. The combination of being keyed up and feeling so paralysed is not a good one for me -- it tends to be the thing that leads to much increased suicidal impulses. (Which is going on right now, by the way.)
The good news is that I've got some support from a couple of someones here who keeps reminding me that I really have been through hell for an extended visit, so everything is still pretty distorted. One of them keeps reminding me that it might still turn around, and encouraging me to keep trying. So far, I have. More out of inertia, I think, but the end result is the same. I'm giving it a chance, and next week I see Dr NoName again and can discuss it with him. So far, I've been able to say, "it's only a week more, surely I can manage it that long?" Part of the problem is that I get such tunnel vision, you know? It seems as if this moment is all that's ever existed, so if it's horrible, then it's always going to be horrible. The most insidious part of the disease process, I guess.
Thanks for your support, Scott. Hope you had a good weekend -- without any bull sharks ;-)
poster:Racer
thread:380308
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040904/msgs/387706.html