Posted by jujube on September 28, 2004, at 7:31:56
In reply to Re: Thanks all - I'm done., posted by jerrympls on September 27, 2004, at 21:44:18
Jerry,
It's the depression talking, not the real Jerry. I don't know you, but I am sure, like all of us, in our darkest hours, we think that's all people will see, and continue to see. It is our own self-inflicted guilt and humiliation. It is not reality. When the darkness goes, you will see that people who truly care about you are happy to have the old Jerry back - music, harmony, sense of humor and all. Hang on to that. You can have that again. I know. When I went through my first depression (during the aerly days of my sobriety), I thought that nobody would treat me the same again and, indeed, that I would never be the same again. I was so wrong! It was only my depressed mind that was convincing myself that I would be treated differently. When the darkness lifted and the anxiety subsided, my life went on has it had been, with good friends and caring colleagues, but minus the people who brought me down and made me feel bad about myself.
> I just wanted to make a difference in the world...I wanted to make people laugh....I wanted people to hear my music...I wanted so many things...and now I'm trapped in this cage of depression....I want harmony...genuine harmony.
>
> I wanted - needed - so much...and now I think it's too late. I wanted just at least once for someone to be able to say "If you want xxxx Then Jerry's the one who can do it." You know? Some validation...some recognition.... Now all I'll be known for is my depression.
poster:jujube
thread:385815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040927/msgs/396176.html