Posted by utopizen on October 10, 2004, at 13:41:38
I am depressed. I am on Lexapro 20mg, the only antidepressant I haven't tried besides Serzone. I feel better than I have in the past, but by better I don't mean happy. I just mean I can like go through the motions of things. I still don't enjoy life, I have difficulty concentrating even on Adderall 20mg 3x/day, and the biggest thing is procrastination--
I feel like my mind can't help itself but avoid doing work, and I've had procrastation issues all my life. I fear midterms and finals for my life, because I've had two mental breakdowns requiring hospitalization during the last two finals weeks last school year-- I have all this reading I never did, and I just feel helpless.
Even with Adderall, I find it very difficult to just sit in a chair and read a book for class. I really am scared for my life. I end up on boards like this instead. I really, really have good intentions, but carrying them out is tough. I worry over work 24/7, yet end up basically doing none of it. I feel like I have no control.
I'm on Lexapro 20mg. I tried Abilify 15mg +Zoloft 100mg for months, and quit a month ago because it wasn't helping. I have social anxiety, ADD, and depression. And obsessive thoughts that make it hard for me to feel in control of my actions-- it's hard to just step away from my computer, for instance, and go to the library a lot.
I use to be happy, but still procastinated-- now, because of having failed after not finishing a couple of incompletes and all, I'm just fearful so much, and yet I still procrastinate. I'm scared. The depression makes it 10x worse to concentrate-- it use to be that I would procrastinate because I didn't go to the library, but now I just can't focus even when I bother to at the library.
My GPA is like 1.6 or something. I just want to finish out my senior year somehow to remain with my friends, the few I have who live with me, and hopefully make some new ones sometime this year.
Thankfully, I just got put back on Klonopin-- it controls my social anxiety and I am a smooth and calm kid with the stuff- but it's always made me feel "slow" and retarded the first couple of weeks, so I'm just taking it at night until I adjust to it once again.
I'm far more concerned about my depression affecting my concentration, and my ADD/procrastination issues. Anyone procrastinate a lot, even on stimulants, and found Seligiline help them to stay on task and get their act together? I'm not looking for it to replace my Adderall- just help my concentration more and let me get less depressed so I can get my act together, or salavage what's left of it.
I'm miserable. I think the Lexapro 20mg has helped me not be so miserable I kinda trouble my roommates, but that's about all it's done. I'm still anxious, depressed, and feel like I have no control over my body.
Someone, if you had procrastination issues, concentration problems, even on stimulants, and ANY med helped you out, please let me know. I know I need to go to the library and follow a schedule, but it's really tough for me.
I've ordered online generic Selegiline, and plan to take 2 5mg tablets/day.
I've heard the oral doses let you feel immediate happiness, and am curious how long it takes for the oral to work-- I'm guessing a few weeks. I'd ask my doc, but I doubt he'd give me the stuff, and besides, it's probably best to take it along with the Lexapro.
Someone, give me hope.
Ames Vie, I wanted to ask you, did you have procrastination with your ADD? Did anything help?
You sound like me, someone who researches a bunch. I can't imagine how someone could research like I do without putting off other work they're support to do, so my guess is you suffer from the same procrastination issue I do-- it's just a guess, I could be wrong. All this research, and what has it done for me? Only taken time away from work that I needed to do, and that's left me being miserable at life. I'm scared it'll continue...
poster:utopizen
thread:401200
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/401200.html