Posted by jujube on December 9, 2004, at 14:36:43
In reply to Pdoc Appt - need change NOW. PLEASE HELP!, posted by becksA on December 9, 2004, at 12:37:23
I can really relate to what you are saying, and what you are going through. Until I was in my 30s, I had similar problems. My social anxiety is much improved now, but I had real problems for many years. And, like you, it wasn't just with new people. I had the same insecure fears with relatives. I was very close to my maternal grandparents, having spent my summers on their farm from the time I was very little. My paternal grandparents were another story. I was timid, shy and almost fearful around them, no matter how often I saw them. It was the same with other relatives and family friends that I did not see on a regular basis. School was a nightmare, particularly since we moved a number of times to other provinces, which required me to change schools 4 times. The fear and anxiety I experienced just worrying about having to respond to roll call, introduce myself in class, answer a question or even read out loud were overwhelming.
Once I got really used to people and spent a lot of time with them, I would be comfortable, but it took time. I also tried hard to do the things that scared me - I bartended for a while and I taught aeorbics for a while. I found after a while it got a bit easier to be somewhat social with strangers, with people in whom I did not have a vested or personal interest. The only time I really felt comfortable, however, was when I was drinking (I found out at the early age of 15 how effective alcohol was in helping me deal with my social anxiety). So, I guess I self-medicated for a number of years to overcome the shyness in social situations. But, alcohol is a double-edged sword.
A bit of a turning point for me was when I quit drinking, and went on Paxil. The Paxil helped with my anxiety and I found myself not as inhibited in different social situations, including interviews, meetings, parties, etc. I also used Xanax occasionally, but only when needed (which wasn't often because the Paxil worked very well for me).
You are not alone. There are many people who experience the feelings that you do. I don't know what medication you are currently using, but Xanax or Klonipin alone might not be the answer. Are you also on an AD? Also, have you tried cognitive behaviour therapy? I found that my fears subsided a bit when I pushed myself to do some of the things that scared me. The fear didn't necessarily go away, but I felt a bit more comfortable each time once I did it once without freaking out.
Hang in there. Things will get better. It takes time, patience (with yourself) and practice. Hopefully you will also be able to find a medication that will help you to some degree.
Take care.
Tamara
> I've been on Xanax XR for a while now and it's not helping my social anxiety at all. Some of you know by now that I've been going on about this quite a bit as of late, it's just because I have my first appointment tomorow in over a month, and I want to try a change. 99% of my anxiety is social, with people I'm meeting, approaching girls, avoiding groups of people, basically avoiding anybody I'm not 100% comfortable with.
> I even find myself unable to naturally smile with my grandparents! Is this something other than just social anxiety? I'm trying lamictal and am up to 100mg daily and i think it may be working, but nothing much yet....i still get completely anxious and have to avoid parts of my office, take different routes to avoid contact with most of the people I do not know very well, because I know I will appear awkward etc...
>
> Should I try switchin to Klonopin? I think the problem lies deeper than social anxiety, with the whole "unable to smile with my grandparents" issue. Just saying people that close to me, yet I still feel so physically tense I cant even just be relaxed, even if I'm on 3mg of xanax xr.
>
> thanks
poster:jujube
thread:426746
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041206/msgs/426787.html