Posted by passionsky on December 10, 2004, at 1:54:28
Hello, I'm new to this group and have a lot of questions. I have had depression most of my life and recently lost it (again). I see myself as borderline personality disorder with major depression. I lost my job in Oct and went into a deep, suicidal state. I have lived with anger and depression for so long I don't even know what it is like not to be angry. So the job loss happens in Oct, I'm feeling angry, crying, rage, suicidal, take a test and doc (not a psychiatrist) gives me some tests and sees that of course score high on the depression side but also sees some bi-polar disorder, (the anger) he puts me on depakote 250mgs twice daily and zoloft 50 mgs once a day. Have been on ssri for nine years. Was on Prozac for seven then celexa and now zoloft, (he put me on that because at the time I had no insurance and its a long story.)
So the point I'm still feeling sad but not angry which sucks because anger I don't know I'm just so used to being angry, no motivation, am 30 years old and feel like life sucks don't see much hope. then I watch prime-time tonight and now i'm wondering if medication is the way to go at all. I also am seeing a therapist (only for about a month now) and don't see anything helpinng in that realm so are these meds really helping or hurting us or what. Am I on the wrong meds I'm just totally confused. Btw sorry to be truly babbling. I feel so f***ing old, and just so pathetic. When I was angry at lest I had someone to blame.
Any advice would be appreciated.
poster:passionsky
thread:427073
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041206/msgs/427073.html