Posted by pretty_paints on December 16, 2004, at 18:42:01
Arrrggh. I am fumigating!!! (Only UK readers will get that. Think Nadia. Think Big Brother)
Oh I can't believe it. My wonderful lady psychiatrist is ill, she is in hospital at least until the end of January :( I went to see the stand in shrink today.
OH MY. What a complete WALLY.
He sat me down, introduced himself and then went.
"Right, now ARE YOU HEARING VOICES?"
"Are you hallucinating?"
"Do you think people are controlling you, hmmm?"
"Do you think aliens are coming to get you?"
No to all the above.
"Right", he declares. "You are not seriously mentally ill. You are not psychotic. You must be on an antipsychotic for ANXIETY because you are not psychotic".
NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT I'M ON 750MG OF FRIGGING QUETIAPINE. OF COURSE I'M NOT PSYCHOTIC. THE FOOL.
"When did you start taking these antipsychotics?"
Me: "In hospital"
"You were in hospital?"
"Yes"
"Which one?"
etc etc
"WHY did they give you antipsychotics, hmmm?"
Me: "For paranoia etc etc"
"WHAT EXACTLY were your psychotic thoughts HMMMM?"
LIKE I'VE GOT TO FRIGGING *PROVE* MYSELF TO HIM. GOD.
Then he goes, "Right, well we will definately not be trying Clozapine with you because you are not hearing voices or having visual hallucinations". Never mind the fact that my normal pdoc and I have been discussing this as a last resort option for a while now.
AAARRGGH. I am so angry. I feel like such a fool. He's made me feel like I am some big kid having a tantrum. Or that I'm just being hysterical about nothing. No matter this last year of HELL. HE has summed it all up in about 15 minutes. Honestly, I feel so foolish and stupid. Like I'm wasting their time and money.
Psychiatry is complicated and things can be subtle. Helen, my normal pdoc, is sensitive and observant. She notices even the smallest things and can derive things from them. I am not currently psychotic, but I can tell you now even if I were, there is no way I would have marched in, sat down and declared: "Hello. I am feeling psychotic today. I feel as though the world is going to be taken over by aliens. Just thought I'd let you know". I find it very difficult to mention individual thoughts. If I believe them in any case, I won't mention them at all because I won't see anything unusual in them. Helen recognises this and uses other things rather than just rely on what I tell her to work things out. She acts a bit like a detective, worming her way through things.
And to finish it off, THE EJIT, just goes, "well what is it you want from me? What drug do you want to try? What do you want me to do?"
AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Bring back my darling Helen, that's all I can say!
Do people think I'm being unreasonable here? Maybe I just had a bad day. Have any of you guys ever had stand-in docs? How have they been, better or worse than your current one?
Thanks for your thoughts!
poster:pretty_paints
thread:430440
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041211/msgs/430440.html